Moving On
by ashanti01
Summary: After he is forced to flee France, Erik begins a new life in Imperial Russia . Where he begins to discover there is life after Christine… Erik/OC***ON HIATUS**
1. Prologue

**_I have taken the whole original story down. I sat down one afternoon and read my story and found it so grossly in need of editing, I decided to do a full revision. I downloaded the story and it is over 800 pages on Word. Needless to say it will be a long process, but one I feel will be worth it in the end._  
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**I believe everyone who reads this story deserves the best I can offer, and what I had previously posted was not the best. There will be changes, alterations to the story, but the core of the story will remain the same. If anyone wants to be a BETA please contact me.  
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**The story I wish to post is the one I always envisioned and if for any reason, ff . net pulls it, then I will post it on amazon. I want you to read the story I envisioned, and not a watered down revision. **

**I do hope you enjoy the revisions, and as always thank you everyone for your continuous and loyal support.  
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**11/15/12-Big thank you to Phantom-of-the-Opera-Phan, my new Beta! You are the best!  
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* * *

**Prologue**

**Paris, 1880**

Prince Nicholas Alexandrovich Alexandrov watched in horror as the chandelier fell onto the screaming crowd. From his box, he observed how people were desperately attempting to get out of its path, but for some, it was impossible. The crash was so loud, so intense that he felt his own box shake. He turned back to the theatre to see the police officers running around like complete fools, obviously at a loss of what they should do. There was a fire that was rapidly spreading; without thinking; he began to make his way out of the theatre. Once outside, he saw Madame Giry nervously watching as the Opera house burn. There were people rushing out of the burning building, screams and smoke filling the air. Amid all the confusion, he could see men working aggressively to contain the fire. It would be a miracle if they were able to save the Opera house.

His attention shifted to the woman standing alone in the street. Antoinette Giry. For a moment, he forgot his surroundings, as a familiar pang invaded his heart. She had changed little over the years, yet no matter how much time had passed, there was a significant bond which would always bind them together. Apparently sensing his presence, she turned around, her eyes locking with his as she rushed to his side. He noted how vulnerable she appeared, standing there with her flushed face and eyes wide with concern.

"Nicky!" She breathed deeply.

"Antoinette! Why are you still here?" he asked as he took her shaking hands into his. Gently rubbing them in a vain attempt to soothe her, "I 'm waiting. Meg she went.. I mean I asked her to…".

"Will you please calm yourself? Come now; explain to me what is wrong," He listened as Antoinette began to tell a tangled tale of a masked genius whose failed passion had left him disarrayed and brought about the destruction around them.

* * *

Erik rushed through the dark tunnel at a pace that was unusual even for him. He was confident the aggrieved mob would soon discover the entrance to his secret escape. It was essential he place as much distance between him and the refuge he had considered home for so many years. As he raced through the darkness, his thoughts were still lingering on Christine. She had returned to give him her ring... For a moment, just a brief moment; he had believed she had chosen him. His hearth had foolishly swelled with hope and joy. When he saw her guilt ridden eyes turn away from him, he noticed the ring in her hand. His heart shattered as she placed the ring in his hand. He clenched the ring even harder. His Christine had chosen that boy. Although she would have stayed with him, it would have been only to protect Raoul. It was preferable to live his life in utter loneliness and despair than to live knowing Christine had been at his side only out of obligation and compassion. He loved her far too much to chain her to a life of misery and discontent. With a heavy heart, he released her.

"Erik!" a voice shouted. He stopped running at the sound of the voice. He recognized her voice anywhere. Slowly he turned to see Madam Giry rushing towards him. He kept his hand firmly on the marred side of his face as she approached him. His eyes narrowed as she came closer.

"Come with me; quickly!" She said as she grabbed his arm attempting to pull him towards her.

"So you may feed me to the mob?" He hissed venomously.

"Erik, please listen! I'm trying to help you?" She pleaded.

"Help me?" He shouted in a mocking tone, "You! The only person I have trusted, have betrayed me like the rest!"

"Forgive me Erik; I thought you were going to harm her!" she frantically attempted to reason, "Listen to me, please! Do you think I would have betrayed you? You, who I have raised alongside my own child, betray, unless I feared for the safety of my adopted child? I never wanted any of this for you Erik. You were meant for greatness," the desperation in her voice made him realize the sincerity of her words, "I have a friend who can save you. Erik, I beg you! Listen to me! You must leave Paris! Please, Erik, accept his assistance!"

He looked at her with hatred. At that moment, he hated her; he hated Raoul, Christine, life itself. He knew he should not trust her, but he also knew she spoke the truth when she said he had to leave Paris. His bruised heart had risked it all on an ill-fated hand, and how he was left without a home, his art, and Christine. He had lost everything he had held scared.

"Very well, Madame, I will accept this assistance, but I swear if you have deceived me, I will unleash my vengeance upon your daughter!" Madam Giry paled, but she continued to look him straight in the eyes.

"Come with me."

* * *

Nicholas paced back and forth before his carriage. He should have gone with her, to fetch her so called ward. She had insisted he remained there, claiming his presence would do more harm than good. It had been some time now, and with every passing minute, his anxiety grew. After what seemed like an eternity, he spotted Antoinette and a man emerging from the shadows. He glanced at the wretched soul who had been handed nothing but pain in life. Seeing his disheveled and ragged appearance, an overwhelming sense of pity overcame him. He noticed he kept a hand firmly placed over one side of his face.

"Please come quickly, we do not have much time." Nicholas said as he handed his cloak to Erik and opened the door to his carriage. He hesitated for a moment before climbing in.

"Antoinette," Nicholas took her hand and kissed it gently, her face flushing slightly, "I will send word of our safe journey," He looked at her for a moment, "Until we met again," He jumped into his carriage and instructed his driver to go.

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_**A/N: Please feel free to leave a review or feedback. Your input as the reader is always important.** _


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

Countess Tatiana Nicolevna Feodrova was considered by Paris society, to be one of the most exquisitely beautiful woman of their class. A princess by birth, a countess by marriage; few could claim the pedigree she possessed. All of these gifts had quickly elevated her to the most exclusive royal and aristocratic circles in Europe. Men envied Count Feodrov for having such a prize for a wife, while many woman admired her beauty and elegance. Even those who were born into royal houses across Europe found themselves in awe of the young countess.

Whenever the Count and Countess Feodrov would arrive at an event, it was almost certain all eyes would turn towards the unique couple. Where the countess was not even twenty, her husband was nearing his fifth decade. Count Vladimir was not an exceptionally tall man, being of average height, but was said to have been handsome in his youth. His blond hair had a few strands of white, and he possessed a pair of brilliant hazel eyes. There was a certain aroma of finesse and authority around the Count which appealed to some; but not his wife.

There was much talk about the odd pairing steaming from the lack of heirs. It was a universal rule among all the classes which declared woman were meant to bear their husbands children. In this aspect, the countess had failed miserably. Yet if, the count was disappointed by the lack of heirs, he never showed it. He appeared exceedingly happy with his wife and seemed to take considerable pains in showering her with gifts.

The count was known for the lavish pieces of jewelry he enjoyed presenting to his wife. So much so, many jewelers were always eager to present him with their latest creations. When Cartier presented the count with a one of a kind black pearl necklace with matching earrings, the count did not hesitate to purchase them.

"Black pearls?" Her husband placed the necklace around her neck.

"They are extraordinarily rare and sought after." Vladimir boasted. "Everyone will envy you for this latest acquisition."

"Thank you."

"You're not pleased?"

"I do not feel worthy of generous gift." Tatiana declared dryly.

"While it may be true, you are not always on your best behavior." Vladimir began to caress the back of her neck before wrapping his hand around it. "I make it a point to ensure you always have the best." He released her as one of the maids walked into the room. "Be sure to wear them at the dinner."

"As you wish." Tatiana whispered, motioning for the servant to bring her the desired gown for the evening. Vladimir retired from the bedroom leaving Tatiana alone with the maid.

"Is everything alright, madam?"

"Yes, of course." Tatiana glanced at her reflection, "why would anything be wrong?"

* * *

Erik said nothing as they rode in Nicholas's private train. They had been traveling for nearly two days. The train they were riding in seemed to him, to be a miniature palace. It had a dining, sitting, and billiard room, not to mention bedrooms for the family and servants. The luxury of it was not lost on Erik who realized he would probably never again ride in such a train.

Nicholas had provided him with his own room, clothing, books, and a mask at his request. To his surprise he had learned Nicholas always carried a mask in his wardrobe in case he needed to attend a masquerade ball. A favorite theme among aristocrats, apparently.

Erik had almost immediately realized they were going to Russia. The man was Russian, and his style reflected the high rankings of a noble man, if not a royalty. Nicholas appeared to be decent enough man, he had to admit. He didn't invade his need for privacy or seek answers from him. He didn't seem to ask much of him at all. He was grateful for the allowed privacy for in reality he was in need of much soul searching. There was much to ponder on, and even more to reflect on.

Without much to do he read, and at night, when he knew everyone else, including the help was in bed, he gave in to his need to cry. His tears had allowed some of his sorrow out of his chest before it ate him up any further. In his emotionally fatigue state, it was even more difficult than ever to forget the years of anger, pain and hatred which had dominated his life. The sudden change in the atmosphere not just in location but the behavior was something he had not been prepared for.

The servants who did not appear to fear his mask treated him proper respect. This was something that had indeed surprised him at first, as he had never had the luxury of that experience. In truth, he had never been able to socialize with anyone, therefore, the whole experience itself was new. There were four servants who tended to him directly, and they always addressed him with respect and politeness. They seemed eager to tend to his needs, and for the first time, he found that he did not have to demand anything, for they were always willing to do things upon his request.

"They do not fear you, Monsieur because they have no reason to" Nicholas had casually explained to him.

Nicholas himself was somewhat intriguing to Erik, as he realized not just anyone would have helped him the way he had. He was not in such a hurry that he missed the farewell between Madame Giry and Monsieur Alexandrov. It was not difficult to observe some intimate feelings existed between the two. He had never seen Madame Giry blush for any man, save the one sitting across from him reading his book.

The man was handsome despite his advanced age. Nicholas appeared to be in his early to mid forties. His hair was black with a few strands of grey at the temples, his skin tone was a soft caramel and his eyes were unlike any shade of blue he had ever encountered before.

"Why are you doing this?" Erik asked abruptly.

Nicholas looked up from his book with a raised eyebrow as if amused by his question.

"Does it really matter, Monsieur?"

"Yes."

"Madame Giry told me of you, your life, and I saw no reason why I should not help you." Forward yet vague, Erik smiled. He couldn't help but be amused.

"How do you know Madam Giry?" Erik inquired further.

"We were once engaged."

Detecting the sadness in his tone, Erik decided not to push the subject any further and instead asked other questions.

"What do you plan to do with me when we arrive on Russian soil?"

"It is up to you, Monsieur. You are welcomed to stay at my estate as my guest for as long as you like, or you may choose to go your separate way."

"How do I know you will not betray me?"

"If I had wanted to betray you, I would have already. Besides I gave my word and if anything, I am a man of my word," he replied honestly.

Erik did not know what to make of this man. He almost seemed too saintly to be true. If he had learned anything from his experiences, it was nothing was ever what it appeared. Nevertheless, he felt Nicholas was a man of integrity, and he had done nothing to indicate otherwise.

"Monsieur if I may ask, what is your name?"

"Erik."

"Do you have a last name?"

"No."

"Well…is there a last name you would like?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"We are not too far from the border, and they will ask for your name."

"What about identification?"

"Do not worry about that. The men know who I am and will take my word for it," he said as he put his book down and adjusted his shirt.

"I suppose I will use Giry." Nicholas smiled.

"Stay here unless I say otherwise," he said as he stood up and walked away from the sitting area.

Erik was left to begin to ponder his next move. What would become of him in Russia? There were not many options available to him. He couldn't assuredly go to an opera house and seek employment as an opera ghost.

He was being offered room and board for nothing in return. While he still felt reluctant to trust anyone, he had little choice but to trust Nicholas Alexandrov and hope he was not wrong to place his trust in a man he had only known for two days.

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**_A/N: Please feel free to leave a review or feedback. Your feedback as the reader is important!_**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Nicholas found himself with a rather odd guest who seemed to want nothing but solitude. He had never been one to invade one's space and saw no reason to begin now. From what he had been able to gather, Erik was a rather complex character, but he believed it was only normal for a man who had been treated with nothing but cruelty throughout his life.

The cruelty of men can easily distort the most innocent of souls. He had seen it first hand. He stopped reading his book as he began to think of his daughter, Tatiana.

He had come to Paris hoping to see his daughter, only to be denied by her husband Vladimir, on the excuse of them traveling. In the three years since her marriage, he had only corresponded with her but had not seen her since she had departed Saint Petersburg.

Tradition, expectations, and ambition had fueled his decision to allow the marriage between Tatiana and the elusive Count. It did not take long for Nicholas to realize he had made a terrible mistake. Vladimir was an intensely ambitious man who did not love Tatiana, nor did he even pretend to care for her. Nicholas also suspected some degree of mistreatment, but he had no evidence and therefore he was left in a terrible state of helplessness and remorse.

He had heard rumors about Vladimir; troubling rumors which he could only pray were false. His guilt over the injustice done to Tatiana had made him realize he had much to repent for.

He turned his thoughts to his current position. When he decided to visit the Opera house in Paris, he never would have imagined the turn of events that would occur in one night.

He now had a wounded man under his care who had spent years living underground, after spending his childhood in a cage. Erik had been abused and displayed as the "Devil's child" for profit. He would never be able to understand how man could be so evil to their own. He knew Erik had been turned down by a young girl, and it was clear her rejection had cut him deeply. His entire attitude reflected his wounded spirit. Perhaps the distance would help the man heal his wounded heart, and even find a new path in life. Having an epiphany of sorts, Nicholas realized if he could not help his daughter, then perhaps he could help this tortured man find redemption.

Tatiana walked along her enclosed garden overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness. She had foolishly, sought permission from Vladimir to visit her father in Russia. Vladimir had denied her request immediately, insisting her place was with him. She had not insisted on the matter further and bowed to his decision.

In the three years since her marriage, she had matured far beyond her nineteen years. Gone was the young, naive girl who prayed to a silent God. God had never responded to her prayers. He was not present on her wedding day, and had failed to establish himself or his mercy in the three years since. Had she known then what she knew at the present moment, she would have gladly preferred death over marriage to Vladimir.

Dismissing the thoughts, she gathered her roses and headed back to the house. Vladimir would be home soon, and he would be, without a doubt, in one of his moods. Despite her loneliness, she preferred to have the house to herself than to have to be alone with him. It had been a difficult lesson but gradually she came to understand how unpredictable Vladimir's behavior could be. Vladimir was a man she had learned to understand but who remained as much as an enigma as the day she met him.

"Did you enjoy your gardening madame?"

"The weather was decidedly welcoming this afternoon." Tatiana handed the basket of flowers to her maid. "Has the Count arrived home yet?"

"Not yet madam."

"Thank you Olga." she dismissed her maid before heading towards the stairs. They were expected at a dinner party, which was sure to have many of her husbands, associates. Climbing up the elaborately carved wooden stairs, she paused to stare at the scene around her. Heavy crystal chandelier, detailed carved wood, exquisite fabrics and priceless paintings were all around her, yet they did nothing to fill the void in the core of her very being. This gilded cage was where she was to live out her life. She closed her eyes as she attempted to bury her thoughts deep within her, no use would come of questioning what could not be changed. Opening her eyes, she wondered if perhaps it was not time to redecorate.

* * *

Erik had been in Saint Petersburg for a week now. In the week since his arrival, he had stayed mostly in the room he was assigned. While he found little reason to venture outside of his room, he could not deny there was plenty of temptation around him. The mansion he found himself in was indeed a palace in its own right. He knew Nicholas was a man of rank and fortune, but he underestimated how wealthy the man truly was.

Nicholas had explained the structure of the three story edifice. He had been granted practically his own floor. Erik had his own bedroom, sitting room, bathroom, and full access to the immense library he had been shocked to discover, spanned the three floors. It had been more than a shock to discover, Nicholas apart from his servants, lived in the mansion alone. The man had no family.

He couldn't help but find himself in the sitting room more and more. The room was lavishly decorated in gold and white with crimson brocade drapery and paneling. The strikingly patterned floor was of delicately inlaid wood. The grandeur of the décor appealed to the snub in him. It was difficult to remind himself, he was only there as a temporary guest.

Upon his arrival, Nicholas had given him a tour of his home. The first room he had seen was the drawing room, or the Blue Room, as everyone called it. The rich, but understated decorations were the perfect background for the magnificent paintings that lined its walls. A large, magnificent chandelier hanged proudly in the center of the room. Plants were carefully positioned to give the welcoming atmosphere of a home.

He was shocked to discover there was a second drawing room at the other end of the palace. The second room was simply a true masterpiece. The walls were covered with red silk fabric. The same fabric that covered the walls was also used for the curtains and upholstery. Portraits of the family were displayed across the four walls. Given the attire worn in the portraits, he could see each portrait represented a generation.

"Nobility and their proud breeding," he had snorted in disgust. In truth, he was envious of anyone who had such understanding of their past, for he had none.

Just as he was becoming accustomed to his new surroundings, Nicholas informed him, they would be leaving in the morning for his estate in the Crimea. He did not object simply nodded his head in understanding.

When he had returned to his room to prepare for the journey, he came to realization he had nothing to pack except the clothes he had been given. He had left everything in Paris. Again memories flooded his senses, but before he could give into his grief, to his surprise he found a note asking for his measurements so clothing could be made for him. This was surprising considering he had never been given anything. As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to like Nicholas. The man had his own share of problems, yet he found time to ensure he was comfortable and well cared for. Aside for Madame Giry, no one had ever shown him an ounce of kindness.

He had known Madame Giry for years, but never once did he ever hear of Nicholas Alexandrov. Perhaps she too had her own share of secrets but, he felt somewhat cheated. He had always prided himself on being well informed about everything that occurred around him. He had always assumed he and Madame Giry had no secrets between them. Despite their sometimes strained relationship, it was one founded on mutual loyalty.

A slight knock came at his bedroom door.

"Come in."

"Monsieur, forgive the intrusion, but dinner is nearly prepared. Will you be dinning with the master or in your bedroom?" A small voice asked. He didn't turn to see the young girl who had been bringing him his food throughout his stay.

"I would like to dine alone in my bedroom," he said flatly as he continued to look out his window.

"Yes Monsieur."

He heard the door close and closed his eyes in frustration. His fingertips came up to touch his masked face. Would he always fear having to face someone face to face?

The mask he currently wore was not of the best quality, but it would have to do for now. He had begun to make a replacement which would be ready in another day. He needed his mask. It was his only shield, his defense, his only means to face the world.

A soft knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. What now?

"Come in."

Nicholas walked in with a letter in his hand.

"I apologize for invading your privacy, but this arrived for you today." He handed Erik the letter.

"For me?" he asked surprised. Nicholas nodded his head. "Who on earth would write to me?"

"I received a letter from Madame Giry. She included that letter addressed to you. She says the opera house, more than likely, will not be rebuilt. The present owners, it seems, are eager to be rid of it."

Erik couldn't help the smile that touched his lips. At least those two fools would not do any further damage to his home. He was certain they had been part of the mob who destroyed his lair. They had burned his music...years of work destroyed in a blink of an eye. Ah, sweet revenge! They destroyed his music, he destroyed them financially.

"She and Meg send their best Erik."

Erik quickly interjected, "I must know. What happened between you and Madame Giry?" Nicholas raised his eyebrow and shook his head.

"That my boy, is something I would much rather not talk about," he said as he turned to leave the room. As soon as the door closed, he opened his letter and began to read.

_My Angel of Music,_

_Forgive me for being the burden of your sorrow. I have cared for you as a teacher, and father. Please know you will always have a distinctive place in my affection. I do care for you, my angel, if only you could feel that I do. I'm unworthy of your love. I shall pray that you find love in another who is more worthy and willing. As much as it pains me to say I must. Raoul and I have married. I wanted you to hear it from me._

_Christine_

He shook with an intense rage that was threatening to escape his control. WILLING! His eyes burned as they began to moist. She had never been willing to love him! How could she? Why love a monster when she could love a handsome prince? He slammed his hand against the wall. He heard a knock and the maid's voice the door opened.

"Get out!" he screamed as he threw one the lamps at her. The poor girl screamed in horror as she rushed out of the room dropping the tray with his dinner in the process. He continued to throw and break things, not caring in the least that these were not his belongings. The fury of hell had finally escaped him, and there was no holding back.

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_**A/N: Please don't forget to review!**_


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Paris, France**

Madame Giry sat at her desk sorting through years of correspondence. Meg had gone out with Christine and Raoul once more. It seemed her daughter was spending too much time with the de Chagny's as of late. Without Meg to preoccupy her, she found herself turning to past more and more. These lonely evenings had her questioning her life and choices. With Meg grown up, she realized just how little she had accomplished outside of raising her daughter and teaching ballet.

Nicky had warned her that this would be their fate; to raise their children and see them off into the world, leaving them alone with nothing but memories.

"You were right, Nicky," she remarked with a sense of nostalgia.

Nicky, her Nicky! He made her ache with a simple thought. The foolishness of her reaction of being near his very presence, was laughable. She could not deny the effect the man still had on her. One look, one touch was enough to make her swoon!

Fate had been terribly cruel to them both. It seemed impossible for them to be leading such separate lives yet still be as connected as they were in their youth. It seemed like it was a lifetime ago, their youth. One never believes they will age until they awake to find themselves aged.

As a young girl, she had been naïve, foolishly so. Her lesson in love was hard earned, and one she never discussed with anyone. Her comfort came from years of correspondence, each letter reminding her she was not always as she is now.

She had hundreds of his letters. Her hands carefully caressed them. All of them, where filled with his love, regrets and hopes. His letters always made her blush with his shockingly honest desire to be with her. It was foolish for a woman of her age to blush so easily because of matters of the heart, she lectured herself.

Madame Giry put the letters back in their box and locked it. Now was no such time for memories. She had to go see Countess Feodrov, or as she fondly thought of her, Nicky's daughter. A message had arrived asking for her to come at her earliest convenience.

She had met Tatiana shortly after she had arrived in Paris. Despite knowing everything about her through years of correspondence with Nicholas, she found herself presented with a shell of a girl who resembled nothing of the girl Nicholas has described. When they were formally introduced, both woman gave each other a nervous if not reassuring smiles. Tatiana regularly attended the opera with her husband, a man she found difficult and aloof. Rumors had persisted about the Count, but as she had learned through the years, all rumors were founded in some truth.

She was putting on her coat when there was suddenly hard pounding at her door.

"Who on earth could it be?" she asked out loud, irritated by the lack of manners.

Rushing to open the door, she tremendously surprised to see Tatiana standing there with her hair wet, her face pale and her hands and dress stained in blood.

* * *

One week later.

**Crimea, Russia**

Erik walked alone along the beach that was part of the private estate he was now residing in. Nicholas had all but left everything under his care while he returned to Saint Petersburg to tend to business. Erik had learned fairly quickly, how well connected Nicholas was throughout society. It was not long before he began selling some his musical creations. He had attempted to compensate Nicholas for his kindness, but the older man had refused, instead asking him to compose a piece for him. Erik quickly accepted the request.

In the months since his arrival to Russia, he had come to accept the country and its culture rather well. Granted there had been a period of adjustment. He was accused of being a messenger of the Devil by a group of villagers when they had first arrived. He quickly silenced them with the threat of bringing the Devil's fury upon them. They gasped and cried, while he and Nicholas simply laughed.

Much to his surprise, Erik finally found somewhat of a friend in Nicholas, who treated him more as a child than an equal. This fact had irritated him at first, but he realized Nicholas needed to be a father to someone.

He had learned from the servants that Nicholas had been married, but his wife had died nearly ten years ago. Their marriage produced only one surviving child, a daughter Tatiana. She had married and moved to Paris, but that was all the servants were willing to provide on the subject. He never pressed Nicholas for information on his daughter or Madame Giry for he had learned, the man kept his personal matters extremely close to his heart.

Erik did not mind. He supposed it was only fair, as he did not wish to discuss Christine. Both men talked politics, the arts, and literature yet, there was an tacit understanding that their personal lives were just that: personal.

He was finally finding some kind of peace in this estate that offered both the luxury and seclusion he craved, and the acceptance he needed by those around him. Everyone who worked there always greeted him with a smile and treated him with the utmost respect. Having gone through life without this sort of attention, he found himself fond of. Another new experience for him had been the discovery of the flirtation skills of the opposite sex. Unaccustomed to any sort of attention, especially from a woman, he was quite taken aback at first. From time to time, he would even flirt a little with the maids who seemed to adore him despite his mask. Nicholas had offered to find him female companionship, but had declined the suggestion outright. He was not at all comfortable with the idea of being with woman, mostly because he had not the faintest idea of what to do.

Perhaps it was the security of being able to venture out without fear of being lynched. Or the pleasure he felt whenever he was greeted, not just with respect but in a friendly manner. This new chapter in his life was one he had never believed possible for him. It made him believe had finally found his place in the world.

* * *

Days later Nicholas arrived news from Paris. He had brought letters from Madame Giry which brought him comfort and relief. Without the Opera house, he had feared Madame Giry would not be able to find acceptable work. Nicholas had informed him, he need not worry for she would be provided for. Her letters brought him much information, but to her credit, she never mentioned Christine. Instead, encouraged him to begin fresh and forget the ugliness of the past.

After dining together, Nicholas had retreated to his bedroom, tired from his journey. He had lingered in the music room playing random pieces from memory before retiring to his own room. When he found his sleep evaded him yet again, he had turned to work.

For once in his life, his music was being accepted, and he was being honored for it. He had never experienced direct appreciation before. He had always worked tirelessly on his music but had to use force to get it performed. For once opera houses, musicians and theaters were asking for his music. The sudden praise for his work, had done much to raise his battered esteem.

He was slowly learning there was indeed life after Christine. Nevertheless, the simple thought of her was enough to dampen his spirits. During the day, he would work hard and focus on learning the Russian language in a vain attempt to avoid thinking of her. Yet at night when he had nothing to do and sleep would not claim him, all he could do was think of his Christine sleeping in the arms of another, while he sat by the window alone. His memories being his only comfort. The honest truth was he felt quite empty without her. The dull ache in the pit of his stomach never stopped. She was a wound that simply could not heal because in truth, it had never ceased to bleed.

More than once he had thought about going back, but realized there was no use. The past was the past, and he had reached the point of no return. For him to return, would be a certain death sentence. Besides, he was rather found of his new home. The Crimea and its surroundings did him much good. Nicholas had opened his home to him and he truly enjoyed living there. It offered him both privacy and solitude when he needed it, as well as companionship and, to some level, acceptance by those around him.

He was not feared by anyone in the palace or the neighboring palaces. They had welcomed him to their social circle and were honest with him. They had told him, to his face, that they had been taken aback by his mask and his whole mysterious persona, but understood that he was a product of his predicament. Nicholas had explained to the curious neighbors that his guest had suffered a horrible accident which had damaged a part of his face. People, it seemed, could easily be swayed to acceptance if they believed you to be an innocent victim. He couldn't remember when he had ever been an innocent victim. He told Nicholas it wasn't true, but Nicholas stood by his story and that was the end of that. He never brought up the issue of his face, and Erik felt a strong sense of respect for the man who continued to treat him with the level of respect he had always been denied. In fact, most of the neighbors treated him as one of their own.

His thoughts ceased when he heard sounds emerging from the bedroom next to his. Considering the late hour, there should be no one in the adjoining bedroom. It was closed off and only opened when it needed dusting.

Alarmed he moved quietly to open the door adjoining the two rooms. He walked with slow but swift movements, careful not to make a noise. Opening the door slowly; he entered the dark room. Carefully, he stepped in closing the door behind him without making the slightest noise. His eyes, which had long adjusted to the dark, quickly saw a figure coming out of the bathroom and heading towards the nightstand, no doubt searching for anything of value.

Like a cat, he approached the thief with absolute care, not making a sound. He saw the person reach into their pockets. Without thinking twice he pounced on the figure, who was entirely taken off-guard. The boy attempted to fight back, and although he appeared to be tall, he was rather weak and it didn't take too long for Erik to have him against the wall in front of him.

"I'm afraid you have made a deadly mistake boy," he hissed in anger.

"No it is you who have made the mistake," a low but distinct voice responded.

A woman? Before he realized it, he felt a swift kick between his legs, which brought him to the floor. Handicapped by the piercing pain in his groin, he was powerless to stop the kick against his face, knocking his mask off. One hand immediately reached up to cover his face while he tried to ignore the stabbing pain in his stomach. He tried to search for his mask, but his assailant approached him and held a knife against his neck.

"Move and I swear I'll cut your throat!"

Before he could act, the lights came on. Both he and the intruder turned to see Madame Giry standing at the doorway with Nicholas beside her, and little Meg peaking over their shoulders.

"Tatiana! Release him!" Madame Giry cried as she rushed towards them.

He felt the sharp object removed from his neck and saw Nicholas come toward him.

"My mask!" Erik demanded, his hand frantically trying to cover as much flesh as possible. Madame Giry reached to where his mask had fallen and quickly handed it to him. He adjusted the mask rapidly before standing without assistance. His attention was immediately on his attacker.

It was a woman! Despite the men's clothing she wore, her physique was clearly feminine, especially with her hair down. He felt humiliated at having suffered such blow to his ego. She had her back turned to him as Nicholas pulled her into an embrace.

He had been taken down by a simple woman! He had dealt with men of all sizes, and none had done what she had. At that moment, he wanted to strangle her and earn back some of his dignity, until he remembered Madame Giry had called her Tatiana. Suddenly it all made sense. He stared as Nicholas clung her with a deliriousness which seemed to underlined his sentiments. _She was Nicholas's daughter_. Confused, angered, and embarrassed, he stormed out of the room without uttering a word of greeting or acknowledgement to either Madame Giry or Meg.

* * *

**_A/N: Please do not forget to review! Your feedback matters!_**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Madame Giry stood over her bed unpacking their belongings while Meg kept gawking at the bedroom her mother had been given. Meg had yet to see her room, which was next door at her mother's request

"Mama, have you ever seen such a place?" Meg asked as she ran her hands over the silk material on the bed. Meg had been thoroughly enchanted by the richness of their surroundings. When they had arrived it had been late, but the light cast by the moon was enough to see the tremendous palace. Meg had been walking around starry eyed as she admired the grandeur of her surroundings.

"Yes," she answered simply. She did not want to talk. All she wanted to do was go to bed, rest and hopefully in the morning, everything would be calmed down enough to accommodate all of the misunderstandings settled. The unpleasant meeting between Erik and Tatiana had disturbed her.

Meg gasped in alarm as one of the walls opened, and Erik stormed into the bedroom. He paid no attention to Meg, as he walked straight towards Madame Giry.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

" Its lovely to see you too Erik." she said as she continued to unpack her things. She was not in any mood to deal with his temperament.

" Answer me!" He demanded his irate evident in his red face. He could never contain his temper, even as a young boy, she thought.

" Monsieur please calm down!" Meg pleaded as she attempted to approach him.

"Away from me child! This is between your mother and I!" he snarled at the poor girl who paled and backed away quickly. For a moment, he thought she would hide behind her mother's skirts.

"That is enough!" Madame Giry pulled Meg away from Erik. " Go to your bedroom Meg."

Meg quickly retreated from the bedroom leaving her mother and the man she always had known as the Opera Ghost alone.

"I'm waiting."

"I will talk to you only if you calm down! I have traveled much, and unlike you, it was not in complete comfort and luxury." Erik took a few deep breaths, and after a few moments, he nodded his head.

" As you may know the girl who you encountered was Tatiana Alexandrova, Nicholas's daughter and heir."

"Yes, go on."

"About two weeks ago she came to me in need of my help. I could not deny her and decided to bring her home to her father. Erik she cannot return to Paris. Like you, she is being searched for." She gave him a sympathetic look. "Tatiana did not purposely intend to hurt you."

"Not on purpose? That girl did what no other man has!"

Madam Giry couldn't contain the chuckle that escaped her lips. Erik shot daggers at her with his gaze.

"You dare!"

"Erik, maybe when you have calmed down will also find this amusing. it is not every day that a woman holds a knife against the infamous Phantom of the Opera."

" She will pay." he vowed. He looked at Madame Giry who despite her seriousness appeared anxious, almost nervous.

" What did she do?"

" It is not for me to disclose Erik."

" How long will you be here?"

" I'm planning on returning in two days."

" Are you sure?"

" I only came to escort her here, Erik. I have no other reason to be here."

" Are you sure about that?" he asked with a slight smirk. Madam Giry did not miss the meaning in his question and quickly blushed, putting her hand on her rosy cheeks.

" Monsieur...I...that is. Of course, !" she stammered out.

Erik laughed for in all the years he had known her, he had never gotten that the reaction out of her. His laughter only caused her to blush more. She lowered her gaze.

" Forgive me Madame." He gently took her hand, and kissed it. "I owe much to you."

" You owe me nothing Erik."

" You saved me as a child, and again when you could have so easily have been rid of me. I'm not one to forget favors. It does me well to see a familiar face here." Madame Giry smiled and placed her hand on his arm.

"It does me well to see you too Erik." she confessed.

" I swear I will speak to no one about your relationship with Monsieur Alexandrov."

" Erik what do you know?" she asked eagerly.

" I know enough to understand the meaning behind those blushes, Madame. Now if, you excuse me, I do believe you are tired and need your rest." he left leaving her to wonder exactly how much about her past relationship with Nicholas, he was actually aware of.

* * *

Nicholas could not contain his excitement. He began pacing back and forth in his bedroom. His emotions peaked at the knowledge of his daughter and his Antoinette under his roof. He wished for nothing more than rush to Antoinette's side but, he could and would not. He would talk to her in the morning when privacy was available. They would perhaps go out alone without their children. There was much to be discussed.

He had already retreated for the night when he was summoned by his anxious doorman. The man had been so excited words had failed him as he eagerly pointed to the downstairs' area. Nicholas had hurried downstairs only to his Antoinette looking away from him. He had been so surprised to see her for a moment he thought he was dreaming.

" Antoinette.." he whispered still unable to believe she was actually standing before him.

" Monsieur Alexandrov. Forgive me for being here so late but I must speak with you urgently." She had said shyly.

" Antoinette, why are you here?" He had asked as he kissed her hands.

" I have brought your daughter."

At that moment they heard some sort of a struggle upstairs with a woman's voice being heard, and something heavy hitting the ground. They had rushed upstairs to find Tatiana holding a knife against Erik's neck.

For a moment, he couldn't believe what he was seeing, but the joy of seeing his daughter removed all reason from his mind as all he had wished to do was hold her.

Once alone in her room, exhausted from her journey, Tatiana had insisted they wait until morning to talk.

He had not questioned her further grateful for the moment to have her with him once more. It was obvious she had come without her husband. What concerned him more was her state of dress. Her attire of men's clothing, why would she be traveling in men's clothing and with virtually no luggage. The facts before him had been enough to know something was not right. Why had she come with Antoinette?

His questions would have to wait until morning for he needed his rest. Although it would be difficult to sleep, when the woman he loved was only a few doors down the hall.

* * *

**A/N:** _Working on the revision as we speak. Any feedback is welcomed and I'll be frank, reviews do motivate me to update sooner. Thanks for the support. **Next chapter will be longer. Promise.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Five**

Unlike everyone else in the house, Tatiana had quickly fallen asleep. She had been so exhausted she had been more than eager to get to bed. It seemed she had just closed her eyes when she was awoken by Meg. Tatiana opened her eyes and saw Meg standing over her trying to get her attention.

" Please wake up, Ana...I know you are tired but its important." Meg pleaded.

" Can't it wait?" she asked as she hid her head under the covers.

" No! Wake up." Meg pulled the covers off Tatiana and sudden chill of the morning woke her up before she could blink.

" I'm up!" she screamed as she turned over and lifted herself on one." What time is it?"

" It's nearly eleven. Your father wishes for you to join us for lunch since you missed breakfast."

"What?" Had she actually slept in that late?

" You have to get up! We will be having lunch in an hour which will hardly give us enough time to get you ready."

Tatiana watched as Meg rushed toward her luggage and tried to pull something for her to wear. Throughout her journey, she had masqueraded as a boy. Madame Giry had reasoned she would attract less attention as a boy than as a fleeing countess..

She glanced at Meg who was scavenging through the suitcase. The two girls had remarkably little in common, although it was not too terribly long ago when they would have been extremely similar in character. Meg seemed to be happy, finding the good in everything while she was withdrawn and silent. As different as they were they had quickly established a friendship. For in truth, Tatiana was in desperate need of a friend.

" I'm up just let me stretch a bit. I haven't slept this good in weeks." She confessed climbing out of bed. "How did you sleep?"

" I slept well. I can't believe this palace is the same place you called 'Our little house by the sea! It is enormous!"

" Well to me, compared to our home is Saint Petersburg it was our little house. But is so cold and drafty that father never cared for it much. This is his favorite home."

"How many mansions do you have?" Meg asked star eyed as she laid out corset and undergarments.

" I do believe we have ten in Russia and several other homes across Europe." She responded as she washed her face.

Meg said nothing only looked at her with a little 'o' shaped mouth.

Tatiana snorted at her and shook her head. " Please remember that all of this is only because of generations of wise investments."

" But you are going to inherit it all." Meg said in awe. " I never dreamed a person could own so much."

" You should see some the properties owned by the Romanov's or the Yussupov's," she smiled, "They will give you a reason to envy."

Tatiana looked at her clothes and knew she would have to find a dress somewhere. Her father would not approve his only child parading around as a boy.

" Meg, do you have a dress I may borrow?"

" Yes, but I do believe it would be exceedingly small for you." She pointed out.

Tatiana was at least six inches taller than the small five foot two Meg. She had inherited her father's height, but thankfully she was not as tall as he was.

" You are right." She went to the corner of her room and pulled on a cream rope that hung from the wall.

" What are you doing?"

" I'm calling one of the maids. I have to find clothing."

Meg said nothing only kept staring at her.

" What is it, Meg?" Tatiana asked frustrated. She did not like to be gawked at, aside being incredibly rude, it was unnerving . " Out with it."

" How did you manage to take him down last night?" She asked shyly.

Tatiana gave her a puzzled look before realizing what she was referring to.

" Oh, him," Tatiana shrugged her shoulders, "I kicked him between the legs."

" You what?" Meg's hand went to her mouth. "Were you not afraid him?"

" Why should I? He is just a man."

" Ana, he isn't just another man, he's..." a knock interrupted her from continuing.

" Come in. " Tatiana said.

" You called Madame." a pretty maid asked as she entered the bedroom eagerly.

" Yes. I'm afraid I need clothing. Is there anything here that would fit me?"

" Oh, yes Madam your father had all of your clothing stored."

Tatiana smiled and instructed the young girl to have her clothing and personal items returned to her room.

Tatiana began to dress and reached for her corset.

" Where is your mother, Meg?" she asked.

" She is in the garden speaking with your father."

Tatiana looked up at Meg. " Alone?"

" Yes."

" This should be interesting." She smiled softly.

" Why?"

" Meg have you ever heard of our parents previous relationship?"

" Relationship?"

" Little Meg Giry, you honestly need to pay more attention to your surrounding sometimes." Tatiana said as she continued to dress.

Meg silently walked towards the large window, and looked to where her mother was sitting. Meg was not sure whether or not she wanted to know her mother's personal life.

"If you wish you can go downstairs." Tatiana casually remarked as she put on her stockings. "I'll be down in few minutes."

"I shall tell your father you will be joining us." Meg retreated from the room just as the maid returned with a handful of dresses on hand.

Once she was dressed and ready to come downstairs it was past lunchtime. She had found one of her dresses from her youth, which required no adjustments. Her hair had been styled in a simple bun. She had told the maid she did not require anything elaborate for lunch. She walked out of her room with the intention of going straight to her father. Yet she got no further than one door before a hand shot out of nowhere and pulled her in.

Before she realized it, she was inside one the bedrooms. She heard the door close behind her and turned to see a man staring at her fiercely with the most captivating green eyes she had ever seen. It wasn't until a few moments later she noticed he was wearing a mask on one half of his face.

" You have much to explain Madame Feodrova."

* * *

Madame Giry and Nicholas quietly walked together along the fountain. She couldn't help but admire the garden and scenery around them. The previous night because of the darkness and chaos, she had not actually been able to admire the beauty surrounding the home. It was easy to see why Nicholas had always written about his home with such a sense of pride.

" I hope you are comfortable Antoinette." Nicholas said as he took her hand in his.

She turned red from head to toe. What was it about this man that made her a blundering idiot? She was behaving a like a school girl!

But you have never known his touch...a voice inside of her whispered.

"Why are you silent? Is something wrong? Is this disturbing for you?"

" No, Nicky I simply cannot believe I'm actually here with you."

He smiled at her which caused a knot to turn in her stomach. He raised her hand to his lips and caressed her skin ever so slightly.

" I have missed you Antoinette." he said as he leaned in for a kiss.

Unable to resist, she accepted the kiss. Her arms went around his neck as his arms went around her waist bringing her closer to him.

The intensity of their embrace was fierce, and although she was always reserved in the outside, this man made her lose all sense of herself, wanting to give in the passion he was offering her.

Her eyes flew open when she felt his tongue slide into her mouth in an attempt to deepen the kiss.

She pushed herself away from him trying to hide her mortification from him. Her hands were on her burning cheeks, her heart was beating out of control and her knees felt weak.

Unknown to them Erik watched from his bedroom window a slight smirk on his face.

" Antoinette, forgive me... I got carried away." He said as he turned her around so she could look in the eyes. " I have loved and wanted you for years."

She blushed even redder at his mention of his desires.

" Nicky, you shouldn't say such things." She hissed.

He laughed as he embraced and nuzzled her neck.

" Antoinette, Antoinette what am I to do with you and your modesty?" he kissed her forehead.

" You... Monsieur are...oh, my... impossible." She managed to say. Her mind was clouded with a long neglected passion that was making it harder and harder for her to think.

" For being honest? Don't you think we deserve to have some happiness in this life?" he whispered into her ear in a soft and sensuous voice.

She didn't answer frighten her resolve and logic would fail her. They walked in silence for a bit longer. She could see from the corner of her eyes, an amused grin on his face.

"Stay with me." He declared as he took her in his powerful embrace.

" Nicky, we should go back its almost time for lunch." She gently pushed him away from her. His lust filled eyes and pained expression revealed all she already knew.

She turned to leave but was stopped at the sound of his voice.

" Antoinette what are you afraid of?"

She lowered her head and bit her lip before turning around to face him. Her gaze was filled with a deep longing but uncertainty.

" Of us, Nicky." She whispered before walking away from him.

* * *

Erik looked at the woman before him. He had been waiting all morning for her to come out of her bedroom. He had come to her room in the morning, only to find her still sleeping. Not one to be rude and awaken her, he decided he would wait for her to awaken.

That had five hours ago. His patience had all but disappeared when he finally heard her door open. He had opened his enough to see if it was her, and was pleased to see that it indeed was the little vixen who had taken him down the previous night.

He opened his door quickly, and before she had realized it, he had his hand on her arms and pulled her into his bedroom, closing the door with his foot.

He released her, and as he did she spun around to face him.

At last they were face to face.

"You have much to explain Madam Feodrova." he said simply as he stared at her with an icy stare. At first she said nothing but it didn't take long before she put her hands on her hips and raised her chin at him.

"It is you who has some explaining to do!" she snapped back at him.

Although his face showed nothing, inside he was amused. Did she not know who she was dealing with? No man or woman had ever dared talk to him in that tone.

"You are mistaken Madam. Unlike you, I have nothing to explain, while you have much that need clarification and I do believe an apology is in order."

"I don't know who you are, neither do I care! I owe you nothing." Her hand reached out to the door handle but was slapped away his.

Her eyes widen, and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"I do not believe I have ever met a more ill mannered woman in my life. You kick me in a very sensitive area, try to cut my throat and now refuse to apologize. Not to mention your obvious abandonment of your husband, whom I presume is searching for you as we speak. You are a complex woman Madame, no wonder Monsieur Alexandrov worries about you."

"How dare you!" her face had flushed with anger and for a moment, he silently admired her beauty. She was indeed lovelier when she was angry.

"Oh, I dare. Its you who have shown nothing but disrespect to this house!"

"This is my home! You are only a worker and at best a guest! I could have you thrown out!"

He laughed as he walked away from her, taking a seat on the antique sofa. Adjusting himself comfortably, before smirking at her.

"I would like to see you try, Madame." His eyes danced with glee.

"You Monsieur, are picking a fight with the wrong person! I do not take this kind of treatment from anyone! And in all cases it is you who owes me an apology!"

"I owe you an apology?"

"You attacked me first!"

"No one was suppose to be in that room." He stood up and walked towards her. " You were dressed as a boy! And you never identified yourself!" he said simply as he looked her in the eyes. She was quite tall for a woman, he noted.

She didn't back down and instead pushed him away from her.

"Monsieur, I do not know why you are in my home or why you are wearing that ridiculous mask when there is no masquerade ball anywhere in sight! But I will tell you this, you won't be here much longer, you arrogant bastard!"

Stunned he didn't say anything. He looked at her in total amazement. No one had ever called him an arrogant bastard, and certainly no lady! He was so surprised and dumbstruck by her words that he failed to realize she had left his room.

* * *

Tatiana stormed out the room furious. Besides Vladimir, no one had ever dared talk or treat her the way that masked fool had. She had wanted to slap that arrogant smirk of his face. Who did he think he was? She refused to be treated like that ever again!

She headed towards her fathers bedroom still cursing the masked man who had made her feel like a fool. He had been right, she never identified herself, but what did it matter? He attacked her, and she merely defended herself.

She knocked on her father's door. No answer.

She rolled her eyes. Was he still be with Madam Giry?

"I suspect you are ready for our conversation."

She turned to see her father gazing upon her with affection.

As far as she could remember he had always had a way of making her feel special with just a glance. She kissed his check as he embraced her.

How long had she dreamed of being back with her father? How many nights had she wished to return home? Its almost seemed too good to be true. Some cruel dream from which she would awaken from at any moment only to find herself back in France. A small shutter went through her as she pushed the thought away and walked into her father's bedroom.

Her father's bedroom was a unusually large room with a sitting room, small library and large bathroom. It had been especially designed by her grandfather who enjoyed being alone most of the time and had wanted to redesign his bedroom to fit his needs. Even as a child, she recalled the wonder of being allowed entry to her father's most personal living area. It was a place of fond memories, made vivid by the gilded décor.

The sitting room was decorated in velvet and gold. The walls appeared to have been made out of gold, as did the furniture, the fabric on the curtains, chairs, and sofa were all a uncommonly deep velvet. The artwork displayed on the walls had all been left by past generations of Alexandrov's who had made it a tradition to leave a painting behind in their memory. Her father had always delayed making his painting, mostly because he did not know what he wished to paint.

She sat next to her father in his small sofa not sure how to begin.

"Tatiana, please tell me the truth." He asked as she leaned her head on her father's shoulder.

"I do not want to return to him father." She spoke frankly, "Please do not send me back."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Yes." She tried to gather the courage to tell him what she had never told another soul.

"Continue."

"Papa, I was only a prize to him," she began, "He did not love, could not love, he had a..beloved." She closed her eyes.

"What else?"

"He wanted to climb the social latter and get involved with politics. He was friends with many of the Counts, Dukes, and Princes. They came to the house ..." she couldn't finish, she didn't want to.

"Tatiana?"

"Father, I have done something horrible."

"What have you done?"

"From the start of my marriage, Vladimir instructed me how to behave and dress. He believed I was his key into a circle of socialites who would not have him because of his mother. As much as he was disliked, no one could dare refuse an Alexandrov. He never pretended to care for me. I learned soon after the wedding that he had no interest in me as a woman. I was not to his taste." Tatiana paused as she looked down at her hands. " Vladimir and I are utterly unsuited to be in any sort of relationship, let alone a marriage. I cannot return to him."

"Unhappiness is hardly grounds to seek an annulment of your marriage." Nicholas pointed out. "What is it you, do not wish to disclose to me?"

"Please do not make me say more."

"I need to know." Nicholas pressed. "I cannot fight for your freedom without the proper information."

"It is too terrible to say."

"Tatiana, please tell me what made you leave Vladimir." He placed his hand over hers. "Have faith in me."

"Faith." she mumbled with a slight smirk.

"Tatiana?"

"Although, he had no interest in me as a woman, he was terribly obsessive." She continued softly, "He would not allow me to go out without him, believing I would met someone who could love me the way he could not. He was intensely selfish if he could not be happy neither could I, and this was how we were doomed to live." She looked away her voice dropping as deeply buried emotions surfaced. "He never deceived me father. He never proclaimed his love and made me promises. He was honest to a fault in that regard. I cannot fault him for being deceitful"

"What happened if he were not pleased?"

"I would be punished."

"Punished how?"

"I do not wish to discuss details."

"Tatiana was Vladimir lifting his hand to you?"

"Occasionally." Nicholas jaw clenched.

"Is this why you left him?"

"No." Tatiana lowered her gaze.

"I need to know everything."

"On the night I came to Madame Giry, something happened that finally forced me to runaway." She took a deep breath. "I was sitting in my lounge chair reading a book of poetry when my bedroom door was opened. I looked up to see Vladimir and Grand Duke Ernest standing there. I didn't know what to make of it but seeing those two men at my door caused me to become alarmed." She bit her lips gently. "They both walked in, and Vladimir walked towards me with a coy smile on his smile. I looked at him but dared not open my mouth," She looked up at the ceiling for a moment. " He approached me and said, 'My dear little wife. There is something that I'm afraid I have forgotten to make you aware of.' He pulled me to my feet and looked me straight in the eyes before leaning in to give me a kiss on my forehead. It shocked me to feel his lips upon my skin for he had never kissed me in any shape or form." She stopped as her voice began to wavier with emotion.

"What happened?" He asked with a strained voice. His hands trembling as he clenched hers.

"He calmly says, ' You are to spend the night with the Grand Duke.'"

"He gave you to another man!" Nicholas stood up from his seat. His eyes wide and face red with fury.

"Nothing happened." Tatiana confessed. "I was able to fend him off."

"You had to protect yourself."

"I left Vladimir, and as I roamed the streets of Paris, I remembered Madame Giry. You had always said she was a woman I could trust." Tatiana looked at her father and fell to her knees before him. "I know we do not believe in divorce or the abandoning of our home, but I must plea for you to understand. All I have done, I have done to survive. Forgive me for the sins I have committed father."

Nicholas looked at her with a heartbroken gaze, and for a moment she believed she had truly broken his heart. "No Tatiana, it is I who should be asking for forgiveness."

They embraced and for the first time in a long time, she felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and love that she forgotten existed.

* * *

**A/N_:__ Forgive the delay in updating. I've been preoccupied with school, and am only now able to update. Please be sure to review!_ **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Erik rode his horse along the estate's private beach. The day was too beautiful, for him to remain hidden indoors when he was no longer required to do so. Perhaps the presence of Madame Giry helped him feel at ease with such ventures. He had not realized how much he had missed her, until she had been standing right before him. Too proud to admit he had missed her, he had feigned indifference. Madame Giry had come to him earlier in the morning, and presented him with the hidden gold he had gathered over the years. The savings he had believed lost had been returned to him. Madame Giry had once again done him a grand favor without asking for anything in return. His relationship with Madame Giry was the longest established relationship he had ever had with anyone. Although he still felt wounded by her betrayal, he had begun to understand she had done it out of concern not spite. As always she had looked out for his best interest. He was obliged to repay the debt, even if he did not know exactly how.

With his fortune returned to him, he realized he had more than enough to purchase his own home. As much as he enjoyed living under Nicholas's security, he knew his daughter would come before him. Tatiana had threatened to have him thrown out of the mansion. The corner of his lips lifted into an amused smirk. Tatiana had stood up to him in a way no one else had ever dared. He had experienced a wave of emotions ranging from insulted, angered and finally amused, before deciding she was a creature unlike any he had never met. Something about the girl intrigued him. She was beautiful there was no denying the obvious, but there was something dangerously alluring about the young countess. He had hoped to see her again if only from a distance, but he had not seen much of .

He rode back towards the house, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to compose a powerful yet soft piece. He had been asked to compose music, but had not been in a composing mood for the last several days. It always amused him when people made the assumption he could just sit down and magically create a piece worthy of being performed on stage. He glanced up at the house and could see the young Countess on the terrace with her father. She wore a unassuming white blouse and blue skirt. It was obvious she was wearing clothes meant for a school girl. Even from this distance she was sight worthy of he had finally found his muse.

* * *

Tatiana and Meg descended the stairs discussing all the beautiful clothing Nicholas had ordered for both girls, much to Madame Giry's dismay. Madame Giry had wished to leave as soon as possible, but Meg who was thoroughly in love with her surroundings, had insisted they stay on for a while a longer. Tatiana had joked perhaps Meg should begin calling Nicholas 'Papa'. Madame Giry had not been amused by the small joke. The two girls found themselves in each other's company more and more often as everyone else in the household kept to themselves. Tatiana had made the displeasure she felt towards her father's guest known, when she asked her father to make Erik, but her father had touched the subject with a gentle and cautious warning.

"He is a man who has suffered much, Tatiana. It is our duty to help those who are in need of our help. I know he may seem quite rude and perhaps even cruel at times, but remember a person is only what life has made of them. I will not turn my back on a person who had been wronged by the world."She had taken his words to heart and decided not to push to subject further. Something about the man made her uncomfortable, and since she could not have him thrown out, her only solution was to avoid him at all cost. A task she had been remarkably successful in.

Tatiana enjoyed giving Meg a tour around her estate and had even introduced her to the neighbors. It had been so long since she had been able to call someone a friend, she clung to Meg with a urgent need she could not explain to anyone but herself. She had been denied the simplest of pleasures for so long, she could not help but grasp what life was giving her was also pleased to see her father and Madame Giry spending more and more time alone. With their parents distracted with each other, she and Meg were allowed to do as they pleased. The change in atmosphere had begun to show in Tatiana's demeanor as she began to smile more.

"This room is huge!" They entered the ballroom which had not been used in last few years.

"It is suppose to be very large. It may be the largest ball room in the region. My great grandfather had it expanded, and my grandfather had it redecorated. You wouldn't believe how many balls this room has seen. It was here that I had my coming of age ball. I also went to the Bal Blanc in Saint Petersburg."

"The Bal Blanc? What is that?" Meg asked.

"It is a ball where young, unmarried girls attend wearing a dress of virginal white. They dance with young officers as chaperones look on. It was perhaps the first night I was out until four in the morning."She walked towards the middle of the room. The room indeed was unusually large, and everything in it seemed to have been made of gold.

"Did you have a suitor then?" Meg asked as she observed the marble."I had several men seeking my hand. None of whom I seriously considered because they were after my father's fortune," she smiled softly, "but there was one who was different."

"How do you know that? You are an exceptionally pretty girl."

"Believe me, they were not after me. Even though, I was young and naive about many things, I knew enough to recognize fortune hunters. They were seeking my father's approval more than my own," Meg looked at her sadly, "this is expected in nobility."

"I have been envying you all this time, but I never realized the high price you paid for being born into such a life. You're life was not yours to dictate." Meg placed her hand gently on her arm. "You were at the mercy of others."

"It is what it is." Tatiana said quietly before turning away from Meg.

* * *

Later that evening, Tatiana walked into her room and locked the door. The fear of Vladimir coming to drag her back was intensely real and fresh on her mind. It was this obsession which kept her mostly indoors since her return. She did not want to go outside and be began to undress, removing her boots first as her feet were aching to be freed. She rubbed her foot between her hands, she had forgotten how sore her feet got after running around the house all day. She did not regret it, being able to wander around with Meg made her feel like a young teenager.

She went to remove her skirt when she heard a soft tune begin to was an extraordinarily soft and alluring melody that utterly removed her thoughts from her previous worries. It was so relaxing she started to feel quite tired. She finished undressing and put on a robe before approaching the door that led to his room. She had locked the door and put her chaise lounge against it. She laid down on it, enjoying the tranquility this mysterious yet powerful song was offering her.

* * *

Erik walked into Nicholas's office without bothering to knock. Nicholas had given up attempting to reign him in on common manners, and simply allowed Erik to do as he liked for the most part.

"Erik what a pleasant surprise, please come in."Erik snorted as he took his familiar seat, nothing there were several letters and legal books on the desk."Needing legal advice, Nicholas?"

"Yes, but so far I'm unable to find anything of use to me." Nicholas admitted with a weary frown. "Now tell me what brings you here."

"I have not seen you for some time. When I come you are usually out with Madame Giry." Erik leaned back into the chair. "Tell me the truth Nicholas, has she become your lover?"

Nicholas looked at him with a look of indignation on his face.

"She is my beloved." He declared.

"Is she your lover!" Erik demanded again.

"She is not!" Nicholas shouted back. "Erik I do not see how this is any of your business."

"It is my business when she has been all the support I have known for years. My mother could not have given me the protection or faithfulness Antoinette has provided for me over the years! I dare ask because I do not want to see her hurt."

Nicholas unlocked a drawer in his desk. He pulled out a box and opened it to reveal a small frame. He glanced at the frame, before extending it to Erik. Erik took the frame from his hand and stared at it. It was a small painting of Madam Giry as a young girl, perhaps no older than Meg in the portrait.

Nicholas spoke calmly. "I have loved her since my youth."

"If you love her why do you not marry her?"

"She will not have me." He confessed.

"You have asked?"

"Yes." He gave a slightly amused grin. "But I do not wish to go into that subject. I hear you have made an impression on my daughter." Erik smirked. "I'm asking you to try to be nicer to her, Erik. I have asked the same of her. I'm aware you two are not fond of each other, but I do believe living arrangements would be much less tensed if you two at least behaved yourselves."

"Your daughter does not resemble you, Nicholas."

"I'm afraid she does, but the last few years have changed the daughter I once knew. Like you, she has suffered much, so much she has only anger, bitterness, and hatred motivating her as you once did.""As I still do."

"I have never asked you of Christine, nor do I intend to. I will tell you the same thing I advised Tatiana; something's are better off left in the past."

"Something's cannot be left in past." Erik stressed. "Nicholas, what will you do if her husband comes searching for her?"

"Kill him."

* * *

Tatiana walked into her dark bedroom. She did not bother to turn on the lights, but walked over to her desk, where she carefully placed the law books she had gathered from her father's library . She had been trying to find legal information regarding acceptable grounds for divorce. So far she had yet to find a loop hole, which would allow her to leave the marriage with her name intact. With each dead end, her hopes for a clean divorce diminished. Hours of reading, and over analyzing had made her more than a little fatigued. Laying her head on her soft pillow, she didn't bother to throw the covers over herself. She had just begun to drift off to sleep when a hand touch gently touched her cheek.

"Madame Feodrov, I do believe we got off on the wrong foot." With a startled squeal, she quickly leaped out of bed.

Erik casually lit a match and lighted the lamp on the bed stand. He was laying on her bed with his long legs stretched out, his arms behind his head, and his eyes dancing with amusement.

"I prefer Alexandrov."

"Do you hate your husband that much?"_Be nice..._she told herself.

"Does it really matter?" She asked defensively.

"No I suppose not, Madame Alexandrov, although in truth you are far to young to be a Madame." he said softly as he observed her slender figure.

"Thank you Monsieur…?"

"Erik. Just call me Erik."

"You do not have a last name?"

"Does it matter? I prefer Erik."

"Very well, Erik. If you wish to be addressed informally I suppose it is only right you call me Tatiana, but please do not abuse the privilege."

"I hope you learn to behave yourself as the proper young lady you are supposed to be." He teased in return.

"What are you doing in my room and more importantly on my bed?"He lips twitched into a knowing smile, and she was forced to admit, he was a handsome man. His features were classically well defined. His black hair was combed back, gleaming as it waved slightly above his collar. He wore no coat, but she noted his waistcoat was a green satin brocade, and his cravat was properly in place. The waistcoat seemed to set off his eyes remarkably well, and for a brief moment, she allowed herself to admire his Adonis like beauty.

"I have many questions only you can answer for me."

"Tell me Erik, supposing I knew the answers to your questions why would I tell you? I have no obligation to you." she said as she walked towards her favorite chair.

"We have much in common Tatiana. I believe we can do much for each other."

"I genuinely doubt you can do anything for me, Erik."

"Oh I believe I can. You want to divorce your husband, and I do believe I can achieve that for you.

"Her eyes lit up.

"How?"

"What would you give for your freedom?" he asked as he raised himself off her pillows and stood up straight in the bed raising his knee so he could support his arm.

"I would give yo

u anything you asked." She rose from her seat, and slowly approached him with hesitation.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! If I could be free of Vladimir I would pay whatever price you ask."

"My dear, I do not seek your money." She looked at him surprised.

"Well what do you want?"

"You."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Sorry for the delay in updating. I had was waiting for my beta to get in contact with me, but alas she has disappeared. If anyone is interested in helping me with this revision, please PM me. _**

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Chapter 7

"Excuse me?"

She could not believe what she had just heard. For a moment, she thought she believed she had misheard him. He could not have possibly had said he wanted her. His lips started to form a seductive smile as his eyes bore into hers. He laughed softly as he got off her bed and began to walk towards her. His movements were swift, almost provocative as he approached her. She could not remove her gaze from him. There was something utterly and dangerously captivating about the man.

"Do not look so shocked. Whatever you are thinking, I can assure you, it is not in the least what I have in mind." He slowly raised his hand to remove an isolated strand of hair that had fallen on her face. Her eyes remained fixed on his face. "I want you to teach me the ways of your people." She blinked in confusion.

"Teach you?"

"Your father is far too busy with Madame Giry these days," he remarked casually. "Who am I to bother him with my needs? If you can promise me complete loyalty and do as I ask, I will grant you your freedom."

"Why would I trade one problem for another?" She asked not willing to bind herself to another disastrous agreement. "Besides, I'm no one's slave.""I did not ask you to be my slave."

"What did you ask then?"

"To be my companion for a few months until I am able to handle myself in this country. You will aide me to come in contract with both influential and wealthy members of your class. Once you have kept your promise, I shall exercise my considerable talents to ensure your divorce." He grinned wickedly. "You should be thankful I'm extending such a proposal to you."

She could not help but feel suspicious of his motives. She did not know him enough to know whether or not he was a man she could trust… _but then again, her father wouldn't just open the doors of their home to just anyone_, she thought.

"Let's say if I accept your offer, what exactly do you need to know?"

"Everything. I'm accustomed to the French culture, Madame."She thought for a moment trying to weigh her options. She could not simply trust a man she knew nothing about. Of course, should it not be enough that her father trusted him ? Her father and his legal advisers were hard at work on the matter of her divorce. It was likely they would find a way for her to proceed with a divorce. If that occurred any agreement she entered into with Erik would have been for nothing. However, there was something about this man which made her feel he was a man of his word.

"Erik, I will do as you ask, but you need not to concern yourself with my divorce."

He raised his eyebrow in surprise as he slowly turned away from her. "Then what do you require? I do not like to owe anyone anything."

"You will owe me, and I will call in that favor when needed. Do you give me your word, you will aide me should I ever be in need of you?" "I do." The seriousness of his tone, combined with the intensity of his gaze made her realize, he was not making a casual promise, but a vow.

"Come then. There is much you must understand, especially before the 'Season' begins."

"Pardon me?"

"The social season of the year where the elite of Russian society and nobility come out for endless rounds of balls, dinners, ballets, and operas. You will need to attend if you wish to make strong allies." He said nothing as he took a seat, prepared to be instructed on a culture unlike any other.

* * *

Madam Giry shook her head as she looked over Meg's newly arrived wardrobe. She had warned Nicholas she did not want him spoiling her daughter. Seventeen new casual dresses had been delivered in the morning. She doubted their current wardrobe combined was made up of seventeen dresses. The morning delivery had been followed by four ball gowns, twenty pairs of shoes, cloaks, hats, gloves, and had convinced them to remain until the spring. She had accepted only because Meg had become abundantly hesitant to leave this enchanted world. She had tried, in vain, to bring Meg down from her little cloud, but Meg seemed to genuinely believe they would remain there forever.

Madame Giry walked slowly to her dresser, she hesitantly opened the drawer and picked up a box. Her ebony engraved box which had belonged to her father. She removed her necklace, which held the key to the box and carefully opened it. Inside where several letters bound by a black ribbon. She carefully untied the knot and set it aside with considerable care. Her small box contained several things that were dear to her. Meg's first pair of shoes, her engagement ring, a black ribbon from the first rose Erik gave her, and letters from Nicholas. She carefully unfolded one letter and began to read.

_My own sweet Antoinette,_

_I thank you for the letter I received yesterday. Your words caused my eyes to moisten with emotion. If there is any justice in this world, fate will grant me the opportunity to spend eternity in your arms, since we have been denied the right to share this lifetime together._

_ My Antoinette, I sometimes find myself walking through the garden, thinking back on our secret meetings. How I would wait in the shadows impatiently while you would run to greet me arriving out of breath and flushed. Remember how we would kiss in the shadows of the trees?_

_ Life is so cruel to permit me a glimpse of happiness; only to deny me my grandest dream. Always remember this Antoinette; I may not have always treated you well, but I have always loved you to the best of my abilities. Please kiss little Meg for me. I hope she enjoys the new dancing shoes. I hope to one day see her on stage, dancing gracefully as a butterfly as I one day saw her mother._

_With all my Love,_

_Nicky_

She brought the letter to her lips and kissed it, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. It was no time to cry, she had too many things to do. She started to put the objects back in their places when she heard Meg running in.

"Look Mama! Monsieur Alexandrov gave me a pair of earrings to go with my new blue dress." She said with joy as she opened the small box in her hand. Her smile faded when she saw her mother on the floor with a pile of letters in her hand and tears in her eyes."Mama, what is wrong?" She dropped to her knees next to her mother.

"Nothing child." She tried to wipe the tears away as she put the letters away.

"What did Nicholas give you now?"Meg lifted her hand to show her mother the sapphire earrings. Madame Giry's eyes automatically widen with surprise.

"He gave you those? Meg that is too much, you cannot accept them." She said sternly as she finished putting the items in the box. She locked it before quickly put it back in her dresser.

"But Mama!" Meg tried to protest.

"No! You are here as a guest. What is going to happen when we return to Paris? When you awake to a cramped apartment with six other ballerinas? This is not our life, it will never be! I expect you to return those earrings at once." Meg said nothing only nodded bitterly.

"Why do you never talk about your past and Monsieur Alexandrov?" She asked.

"Do not change the subject Meg." Madame Giry warned as she closed the dresser. "I'm not changing the subject. We are finished talking about the earrings. I will return them, mother. I'm now starting a new conversation. Why do you always try to avoid any questions relating to your past with Monsieur Alexandrov?"

"Meg, go return the earnings. I have too many things to do than to sit here and discuss a past that does not concern you."

"But Mama..."

"Enough." She said, irritated. She gave her daughter one sharp glance, which quickly had Meg retreating from her stern stare. Madame Giry closed her eyes in exasperation and began to think. _Perhaps it was time for their trip to end_?

* * *

Erik didn't know what to make of the young Tatiana. He had been spending the last several nights learning the ways of the Russian culture. There was so much to learn: the language, the foods, the social structure, history, economy, and their ways. It was enough to make one's head spin. She had given him books to read to help with his Russian. The language was more difficult than he had originally believed it to be. It did not matter for he was determined to master the language. He was eager to prove to Tatiana he was stellar pupil.

Tatiana was in every sense of the word, an exceptionally beautiful girl. He had been stunned by her lovely face at first, but after being around her for long periods of time, he came to realize there was something beyond beauty that made her very alluring. He could not understand what it was, but only knew he felt drawn to her. She seemed to keep everyone at arm's length and seemed to find amusement in little Meg Giry's company, but still she remained reserved. Something had happened to change her. He had heard several of the servants' comments on her altered personality, and they all blamed her husband.

It was no secret the marriage was an utter failure, enough to warrant a divorce. Divorce was virtually unheard of in society, especially in high society. He was sure once word got out, it would create a scandal he was sure neither she or Nicholas desired, but were willing to accept. He couldn't help but admire the Alexandrov's for their courage to take on a scandal most would avoid like the plague. He knew enough about aristocrats to know how unforgiving society could be. One scandal could cause them to be blacklisted without a second looked over some drawings of Saint Petersburg and famous sites. He never believed any culture could be more flamboyant than the French, how wrong he had been.

Erik discovered the Winter Palace located in Saint Petersburg was the most stunning palace he had ever seen or read about. He remembered seeing it when he had first arrived in Russia but had not given it much thought. No palace in Europe was better suited for formal imperial occasions as the Winter Palace was. It possessed a row of gigantic galleries, each as wide and tall as a cathedral. Great columns of jasper, marble and malachite supported high gilded ceilings that had immense crystal and gold chandeliers. He hoped to one day be able to see the palace again and perhaps even view its interior. He put down his book and decided to take a walk, he had enough studying for the afternoon. Besides, he would study later in the evening so a small walk would not hurt. He didn't bother to put on his jacket. The weather was uncommonly warm, and he could barely manage with his shirt and waistcoat on. "Believe me Erik, one winter in Russia and you will be missing this warm weather." Tatiana had laughed. He had spent many winters in Paris and believed there could not be much of difference in Russia. Yet everyone seemed to keep warning him, winters in Russia were harsh. Truth be told, he was more than a little anxious to experience his first winter in Russia.

He was actually contemplating a future in Russia. The idea of building a home was appealing to him. Just as the goal of establishing himself as a respectable composer. Perhaps he could even attend costumed social events, where he could easily blend without attracting attention to himself. He still did not feel comfortable being around large crowds. Too many painful memories. He pushed his thoughts aside and made himself focus on his present had walked too far past the staircase, to the west wing. He never came to the west wing, as far as he knew there was nothing there of interest besides more bedrooms for guests. He continued on, admiring the magnificent art collection integrated with the decor. The palace was simply filled with art: from paintings, furniture, to the walls themselves. He stopped at the opening of what seemed to be a drawing room. There were no doors just an open passage. He walked in and saw what appeared to be dozens of portraits everywhere on the walls, from the floor to the ceilings. He stared at each image and quickly realized they were previous generations of Alexandrov. He looked at one painting in particular which featured a terribly sad looking woman, with deep emerald eyes, blond hair and unusually soft features which, although not plain, were not fair either.

"I see you have met my mother." He turned to see Tatiana walking in slowly. _Did she always move so gracefully? _She was wearing a light green dress that was remarkably casual and more than likely worn to suit the weather than a fashion statement. For a woman with unlimited wealth at her disposal, she dressed unusually discreet.

"She is your mother?"

"Yes." She looked at the painting.

"There is some resemblance, although it is evident you take after your father."

"And grandmother." She added pointing to a portrait of dark haired woman with olive rose skin and the most enchanting eyes he had ever seen on anyone. She stood proudly, her head titled to the side as her hands clung to a chair. Her long curls were styled to fall over each shoulder. It was then he noticed the diamonds in her hair. It was extremely similar to the style Christine used on her debut. Memories began to flow back as he recalled how sensational she had been that night. _Beautiful Christine…_

"Is something wrong?" Tatiana asked. He remained silent as he recalled how everything he had loved had been snatched away from him. He had lost Christine the moment she removed his mask. Remembering everyone in the Opera house screaming in horror when Christine removed his mask for a second time before a sold out theater. He had given her his love, his music, his being, and she had turned him down opting for the handsome boy instead, who would never love her the way he had loved her, loved her still.

"Excuse me, I must leave." He turned to leave suddenly becoming overwhelmed with emotion. He couldn't lose his composure in front of Tatiana, not in front of her or anyone.

"What happened to you, Erik?"

* * *

_**A/N: Please don't forget to review!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

"What happened to you, Erik?" She could not resist asking. She had spent the last several nights teaching him about her beloved country and its people. Their time together had given her a very vague insight to the complex figure before her. Erik was a true enigma of a man. He revealed nothing of himself, his answers were always curt and short. Yet, despite his aloof manner at times, there was something dangerously alluring about the man.

Then there was the issue of the mask. She had never seen him without it. Out of respect, she never inquired about it. But her curiosity was growing about this strange man, who somehow made her feel acutely uncomfortable at times with just a glance. Granted, when they did argue she gave as good as she received. The man had a natural talent for provoking people, and he relished in it. Their arguments usually ended with him openly laughing at her. More than once she had wanted to break something over his head.

'He has suffered much in life...' Her father's words kept coming back into her mind as she realized he had indeed he had suffered much. Erik seemed almost desperate to put the past behind him. Much like she was attempting to do with her own past. It made her sympathetic to his privacy, and thus made a conscious choice not to breach the topic of his past. Focusing her energy to educating him on her world and culture instead. Tatiana did not mind teaching Erik as she was also attempting to teach Meg, although Meg was not the fast learner Erik was. The Russian language was not the easiest language to master, and she knew no matter how much she tried, they would be on their own once they were presented to society.

She had never had to worry about such things before, mostly because she had grown up around such people. Her father was a tremendously popular man, especially with the woman of all social circles. Their wealth and connections had secured their place in society years ago, but even with their established place in society, she was all too aware of what a scandal could do to all of them.

Tatiana did not care about what they may say about her, but she feared what would happen to her father. Her father had some of the best legal advisers working to have her marriage annulled however the case would have to be presented to the her hopes hanging in the balance, she had found some comfort and welcome distraction in teaching Meg and Erik. Both amused her in their own ways. Meg was everything she wished she could be while Erik was reminded her of herself, so much, it scared her. The more time she spent with him, the more she realized she yearned to know more about him. When she saw him in the gallery, she couldn't restrain herself from approaching him. She was willing to share some of her history with him, but he wasn't. Whatever happened to him, she felt it was somehow related to the mask he wore. She wished for a moment, he would simply remove the mask, and allow her a glimpse of the true Erik. A few scars would hardly matter, but then again, vanity could be a crippling trait for some people.

"What hasn't happened to me?" Erik replied sarcastically as the side of his mouth twitched into an ironic smile. She gently placed her hand on his arm, noticing how firm he was under her touch. "If I'm willing to allow you a glimpse into my past, my history, why can't you?"

"I do not talk about my past, and perhaps neither should you." He snapped with such malice, she could not help but swell with indignation.

"Fine," she snapped, "See if I ever try to befriend you again. You may leave." She removed her hand from his arm, waving her hand casually at him.

"I will tell you Madame, I will leave when I choose to leave! Not when some blue collar harlot tells me to leave!" His features darkening as his posture became rigid.

"How dare you? You have no right to speak to me that way!" She cried. "You are nothing more than a free loader living off my father and, therefore, me! You should show gratitude!"

"Gratitude! I owe you about as much as you owe me, which is nothing! You twisted Delilah!""You are nothing more than a social outcast who will never be accepted, no matter how hard you try, you arrogant pig!"His eyes widen in fury. "You heartless Pandora! Never have I met an ice queen like you! Whatever your husband did to you, I'm sure you had it well deserved!"

Her hand came up so fast he did not have time to respond. The intensity of the blow caused his head to jerk to the side, nearly knocking his mask off. Without thinking, he slapped her, and slapped her hard enough for her to stumble before rolling her hand into a fist and hitting him with everything she had. "Don't you dare touch me ever again!" She screamed in near hysterics."Tatiana! Erik!" a voice shouted. They both turned to see Madame Giry hurrying towards them with a look of concern across her face. Meg who was right behind her rushed to Tatiana's side.

"What is the matter with you two?" she demanded as she looked at the red hand prints on each of their faces.

"Madame Giry. I have no desire to remain under the same roof as this beast! I adamantly refuse!" She shouted before storming out of the room without so much as a glance back. Meg rushed out with her, attempting to calm said nothing only looked at Madame Giry with a feeling he could not begin to describe. He had slapped her without thinking and before he realized it, she slapped him, but this was no mere slap. It was a powerful blow which had caused his lip to bleed. He started to laugh.

"Erik, what is wrong with you? What happened?" She took out a handkerchief and applied it to his bleeding lip."She hit me, I hit her, she hit me harder. " He said with an amused Giry shook her head. "You two need to stop this dangerous game." she warned.

"Game?""Erik. I'm no fool. You are just like the little boy, who pulls on the little girl's hair to get her attention. But once you have her attention, you some how manage to hurt her feelings, so in return she hurts yours."For a moment, a blank, confused look appeared on his handsome features as he pondered her words. Is that what they were truly doing? Behaving like children?

"I did not experience a normal childhood; therefore, I have no way of knowing how children interact." He noticed the amusement in Madame Giry's eyes. "What is so amusing?"

"You are attracted to her." She declared.

"I do believe you are mistaken, Madame." Erik shook his head. The mere idea was ludicrous. "I can assure you, aside from our mutual animosity there is no other sort of emotion between us."

"What caused all this?"

"She asked too many questions about my past." He touched his sore lip and flinched slightly. "You know how much I adore discussing my past." He smiled sarcastically. " Well she apparently didn't like my response to her questions and made a rude comment. I don't take rudeness from anyone as you know."

"Erik! She is just a babe.""Not so. Madame if you excuse me, I do believe Nicholas will be seeking an explanation, and I would rather go to him, then have him come to me."Madam Giry rolled her eyes. Would there ever be a time when she wouldn't have to worry about Erik?

* * *

"He hit me! The son of a bitch actually hit me!"

"Ana calm down!" Meg said somewhat afraid she had never heard her swear out loud. She was surprised a lady like Tatiana would even know such vulgar words."Don't you see, Meg? He hit me!" She repeated in bewilderment. She had been stunned by his blow, but her shock was quickly replaced by anger and she'd struck him with everything she had. She refused to allow any man to strike her. Never again, she promised herself. Never again.

"Why did he hit you?" Meg asked shyly. Why had he hit her? 'Whatever your husband did to you, I'm sure you had it well deserved!' he had hurt her with those words and she'd slapped him.

"He made a offhand comment, I slapped him, and he slapped me in return." She said quietly, calming down a bit.

"You should not evoke his anger, Ana. He can do much harm if he wanted to."

"Meg. What do you know about Erik?"

"I know enough not to want to make him angry." Meg whispered. "He is a musical genius, a true artist-but, he is also a very dangerous man."

"Meg, please, tell me everything you know. I need to know what kind of man I'm dealing with." She pleaded. Meg bit her lip, her hesitation obvious. "I promise I shall not tell anyone." Meg nodded and took Tatiana's hand, pulling her towards the sofa so they could sit.

"He lived in the shadows of the Opera house for as long as I can remember. My mother know far more about him than anyone else, but she is very loyal to him. Her loyalty was tested a few months ago. He fell in love with my best friend, Christine. Christine cared for him, but not as he loved her. He, however, was truly in love with her, and when she turned him down for another man, it broke him." Tatiana continued to listen as Meg talked about Christine, Erik, and the night he left Paris.

* * *

Nicholas listened with considerable attention as Erik disclosed his version of the events which had transpired earlier in the afternoon, resulting with an irate daughter and an insulted guest. In truth, he blamed them both for not just dropping the issue and moving on. Instead, they had continued to torment one another, resulting with bruised egos on both sides. _He was too old for this, _he thought wearily. He liked Erik, he genuinely did, and it was because he liked him so, he could not understand why his daughter and Erik found it so difficult to be civil to one another. _'They're too much alike_...', he thought. "Erik, may I ask your age?" He asked calmly as he rubbed his eyes.

"Thirty," Erik grinned."-ish"

"Tatiana is eighteen, soon to be nineteen. Do you not think a man of thirty should know better than a child? Erik I know how difficult my daughter can be. I'm aware you have your own demons, but I cannot stand here and allow you two, to literally kill, one another."

"It was she who started this entire mess!" Erik shouted.

"Regardless, you should have ignored her. Erik, you must keep that temper in check. I will deal with my daughter. She too needs to remember who she is and how to behave. On behalf of my daughter I apologize Erik, I truly do." Erik ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He had to calm down, he needed to learn to control his temper. Nicholas sighed heavily before standing up and walking towards Erik."I don't know why, but I trust you Erik. I know you two do not get along, and somehow you bring out the worst in each other, but you both have to try. We are leaving for Saint Petersburg next week. If you are to join us for the winter season, then you must behave like a gentleman. Believe me when I say people will not notice your mask if you charm yourself into their hearts."Erik said nothing. His expression was blank, and Nicholas doubted he had even listed to a word of what he had just told him. "As long as you are my guest I will ask that you treat my daughter with respect and I will ask the same of her." He said simply as he returned to his desk. Madame Giry walked into the room. Her gaze went from Erik to Nicholas and back to Erik.

"If you excuse me, I have other business to attend." Erik said as he left the room, leaving Madame Giry and Nicholas alone in his office.

"Is he to leave?" She asked softly.

"No." She looked up in surprise. She had tried to come as soon as possible fearing what would occur. She had heard Erik's voice down the hall and feared he had turned on Nicholas.

"Thank you."Nicholas stood up from his chair once more and walked towards her. Unable to look him in the face she lowered her gaze to the ground. She felt his finger lift her chin, so her eyes were locked with his.

"Antoinette, you have nothing to thank me for." he whispered as she placed her hand on his face and enjoyed the feel of her soft touch. She said nothing, not wanting to ruin the moment.

She wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms and if only for a night, forget the world and simply love him. Fate had been cruel to them, far too cruel. How many years had been wasted? They could have shared a life together, but it was not to be. His hand came slowly to her back and brought her closer to him until her chest was rubbing against his.

"Nicky..." She attempted to protest, but the weakness of the flesh was so hard to deny.

"Do not deny me, Antoinette. Just one kiss, please." he whispered into her ear as his lips brushed her earlobe. She pulled away from his heated embrace and tried to put some distance between them.

"I cannot allow this to happen again Nicholas."

"Do you not think we deserve a chance to be happy? I have loved you for over twenty years! Twenty years I have dreamed and prayed for a chance to one day have you at my side."

"As your mistress?"

"As my wife! Don't you see Antoinette? I love you too much to belittle you that way. If I cannot have you as my wife then I cannot have you at all. I have lived these past years trying to atone for all my sins, in the hopes God will forgive me and grant me my deepest desire! The wish of my heart to live out what life I have yet to live with you!" Nicholas said passionately.

"It can never be Nicky."

"Why? You and I are now both free! Antoinette, no one will love you the way I have loved you."She said nothing, her eyes fixed on his desperate gaze. She wanted to believe him, but how could she? There was so much bitter history between them.

"You broke my heart Nicky. I swore never again."He walked up to her falling on his knees, wrapping his arms around her waist, burying his head in her.

"I have begged you for forgiveness time and time again! I have paid for my sins! Can you not forgive me for a mistake of my youth? I need you Antoinette! I have always needed you!"Unable to contain herself, she too fell to her knees and embraced him. Years of solitude and sacrifice had made her a strong woman, but even the strongest of women couldn't resist their hearts. She kissed his tears away before taking his face in her hands and kissing him with all the passion she had been holding back through the years. She was accepting him. She felt him stiffen in surprise but soon felt her passion matched with his own. Their tongues explored each other's mouth, dancing to their own song of passion and love. It did not matter anyone could walk in and see them. All that mattered was that they were finally together.

* * *

Tatiana laid on her bed silently, debating whether or not she should apologize to Erik. Meg had revealed much to her, although many things still remained unanswered. She knew enough to understand his need for privacy. Her guilt wouldn't allow her to sleep, which only caused her thought to linger on his lonely life more and more. Meg said he was deformed by horrible scars, hence the reason for the mask. Meg had also spoken of Christine, the young opera singer who had literally undone Erik with her rejection. Tatiana turned to her other side in frustration. He too had lost someone he loved and all because God had also turned his back on him._So he had something wrong with his face, what was wrong with that?_ The more she heard about Erik from Meg, her father, and himself, the more she realized he was not at fault for what he was. Like her, he had been molded over years of abuse, neglect, and heartache. He was a product of a cruel fate. She could not think less of a man who had suffered all of his life. She could not stand it any longer she had to apologize.

She rolled off her bed, quickly putting her robe and slippers on. Walking to her desk, she began to push it away from the door adjoining their rooms. She did not care it was inappropriate for her to go into his room. She needed to tell him how sorry she was. If she didn't, she would never be able to go to sleep. She kicked herself mentally for being so thoughtless. Her anger had blinded her judgment. What was wrong with her? Finally, she managed to remove the desk. Tatiana took a deep breath be fore knocking on his door. _I should have taken a drink_, she had a feeling she was going to need it.

* * *

_Why did Tatiana always somehow manage to bring out the worst in him? _Erik wondered. He couldn't deny he enjoyed her fits of anger. Especially when her eyes sparkled. He found her to be particularly lovely when she was angry. Tatiana's ability to stand up to him was something he never tired of. He touched his jaw, which was still tender from her punch_. For a woman, she had a strong punch_, he grinned. His thoughts found themselves back with Madame Giry and their little conversation. She had called them children, as had Nicholas in his own way, but children none the less! He found that Nicholas was always treating him like a child, and he never did anything to stop his fatherly advise. Erik could not deny Nicholas had done nothing but give and give, asking for little in return. Nicholas had asked him to behave himself, an exceeding simple request. Yet a task he found difficult to accomplish. He had behaved himself before, and still Christine had rejected him.

"Christine." he whispered softly. Did she ever think of him? Or was she too busy with her new role as wife to think about anyone but that stupid boy? The mere thought ate away at his heart. He had been born an outcast and thus would die one. What on earth made him believe he would ever be able to live a normal life? Tatiana had been right, no matter how hard he tried, he would always be an outcast.

Erik walked over to the large mirror on the wall and stared at his reflection. His hand reached up to touch the white porcelain mask that tormented him so. He desired to remove it but feared what lay beneath it. He removed his hand quickly when he heard a soft knock on his door. For a moment, he believed he had imagined the knock.

"May I come in?" Tatiana called out softly. She was knocking on his door! He looked around quickly for his robe. He was hardly decent to for anyone let alone a woman. He quickly put the robe on and tied it securely around his waist. He turned to quickly inspect himself in the mirror. He brushed his hair back into place and ensured his mask was in place ,as well. As he walked towards the door, he felt his insides begin to ache. Did he eat something unhealthy? He pushed the thought and ache aside, as he reached to open the door. She stood before him remorse clearly reflected in her eyes, her hair was pulled back in a simple braid, and she too was wearing a robe. "Good evening." She said shyly. "May I come in?"

He raised his eyebrow in amusement. "Do you really think it proper?"

"No, but I honestly don't care." she declared plainly and to her surprise he smiled and allowed her to come in. She had not been in that room for some time, but she could see changes had been made to better suit their guest. There was a desk brought into the room, the curtains were darker, as was the bed spread, and there were several bookshelves covered with books. Erik also seemed to have plenty of music sheets and a piano in the sitting room.

"What can I help you with tonight Madame Alexandrova."She flinched as he addressed her so formally. She realized whatever progress they had made in their relationship was ruined, and they were back to where they had begun.

"I'm here to apologize for my behavior this afternoon.""There is no need to apologize. Your father already did for you."

"He should not have to apologize for my behavior, I should. I don't always think before I act. I'm deeply sorry for crude behavior." He said nothing, only stared at her. It was then that she noticed the bruise on the side of his mouth. She moved her hand to touch his lips, but he quickly moved away from her. She looked away embarrassed by both her actions, and his reaction to her touch. "Forgive me."

"For what? We both exchanged cruel words, and I suppose we both got what we deserved. Tell me are you here because you truly feel guilty or because your father made you?""Guilt.""There is nothing to be guilty about. All I ask is that you respect my privacy."

"I was trying to share something with you, and I thought..."

"That because you share a few bits of information about your family that I would tell you about mine?" he said angrily as he moved away from her."No, it wasn't like that. I just wished to understand you better.""There is not much to understand or know."

"I think I have made a mistake." She said coolly as she turned to leave. Before she reached the door, she stopped but did not turn around. "I was sixteen when I was forced to marry Vladimir. Neither I, nor my father, had any say in the manner what-so-ever. I lost much because of Vladimir: my innocence, freedom and loved ones. I may not have suffered what you have suffered in life, but I do believe I have suffered enough to understand anger and loneliness when I see it." She said sadly before closing the door.

* * *

God, he must think me a fool! She cursed herself over and over again as she undid her robe and went to her bed. 'At least I apologized...what little good it did me.' He was so withdrawn even if he managed to see her as a friend he would never open himself the way she had just opened a bit of herself to him. She couldn't blame him because she had the same problem. She trusted and adored Meg, but she had not even spoken to her about of the things she had lived through during her marriage. She climbed into bed and laid her face against her pillow thinking of how differently things could have been if only she married Sasha..._her Sasha_. She felt her eyes water and didn't do anything to stop the tears. She was crying for Sasha, not Vladimir, her tears were allowed. For so long she had kept her heart under lock, it was difficult to stop the ache from surfacing. Her tears kept falling and after several minutes of crying she felt her pillow wet beneath her face. She sighed in frustration and stood up to grab the second pillow on her bed. Frustrated, she threw the wet pillow out of her bed."You almost hit me with that thing."She quickly sat up in her bed bringing the covers up to her chin.

"What are you doing here?" She shirked.

"You still owe me a lesson for tonight."

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"I'm in bed."

"Then get out of bed."She breathed a heavy sigh as she tried to wipe her eyes.

"I'm not going to get out of bed just because you felt like having a lesson in the middle of the night.""Well you got me out of bed with your need to clear your conscious."She said nothing only blushed slightly, thankful the darkness allowed her some privacy.

"Fine!" She reached for her nightstand. Within seconds, there was light in the room, and she was able to see Erik sitting on her little sofa which was now positioned next to her bed. She jumped back in surprise. "How did you get in there?"

"I walked over and sat down."She rolled her eyes.

"In the dark?"

"Instinct."

"You are terrible," she attempted to suppress her smile.

"My dear dyevushka, you have no idea." He said with a small smile. She looked at him with a genuinely amused smile. Perhaps, there was hope for them, after all.

* * *

_**A/N: Searching for a Beta if anyone is interested.** _

*Dyevushka is Russian for Girl


	10. Chapter 10

**It's been a month since the last update and I apologize. Updates should now be a little more regular. A new Beta, thank you Nakia-Park23, has been kind enough to assume the big task of editing.**

**Currently working on revisions on the next few chapters, so hopefully will be updating soon. Thank you for the support!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Meg watched as their luggage was loaded onto the train. She did not wish to leave their little paradise because that was what this place had become to her, paradise. Tatiana had told her; they were going to Saint Petersburg for the winter and would return in the summer. She wanted to believe they would, but she feared they would not return. Her mother kept repeating, they could not remain there forever, yet every time she mentioned departing Russia, something changed her mind, or rather someone.

Meg was not so much of a fool that she did not see the rather close relationship between her mother and Monsieur Alexandrov. She noticed certain ardent looks between them. Although her mother refused to speak of the subject, Meg knew her mother was in love. At first, it had been hard to think of her mother, the strict and disciplined Madame Giry, in love. In truth, it was difficult to imagine her mother in any type of romantic scenario. Yet it was true, and it seemed everyone knew but, like her, they discreetly turned a blind eye.

Meg wanted her mother to be happy, and wished for them to remain in Russia. She had fallen in love with this strange yet, enchanting land. The Alexandrov's had given them so much she couldn't help but love them for the kindness lavished on her mother, herself and Erik. The Phantom of the Opera...odd how she no longer saw him in the same light as she had once done.

They spoke every day, attempting to perfect their Russian. It had served as a common ground, for them to communicate, without awkwardness or fear. At least on her part, for in truth Erik seemed to be always at ease. He did not speak much, but when he did, she found herself staring at him in awe. Erik had even been kind enough to apologize for his past behavior which he had labeled 'mischievous'.

Meg noticed everyone approaching the train; her mother walked towards her and took her arm. Always so protective, Meg frowned. Nicholas and Erik walked alongside Tatiana who looked stunning as usual. Meg could not understand how such a beautiful girl with the world at her feet, could always appear so sad. She knew she had a difficult marriage, but she never spoke of it. When the issue of her marriage was brought up, her entire demeanor changed. Naturally, she was curious to know more however, she understood, there were certain things that were simply not to be discussed.

Tatiana smiled as she stood before her. Meg felt very much like a dwarf compared to tall and slim Tatiana. She also had the most stunning aqua colored eyes she had ever seen on any person, man or woman. The sadness reflected in them only deepened their beauty, in her opinion, but just as she had given her some joy in life, she had hoped something or someone would do the same for her. With God's blessings, she hoped 1881 would bring much joy to them all.

* * *

Erik watched out of the corner of his eye as Tatiana continued to look out her window. She was deep in thought once more. What could someone as young as her be so tormented about? He knew she was seeking an annulment of her marriage, but as far as he knew, she was no closer to her freedom than she had been when she first arrived. He had accepted her offer of friendship but refused to talk to her about his past. Many wounds were too recent and not fully healed enough for him to speak of without evoking negative emotions within him. She had opened enough of herself to prove she was willing to have him as a friend, and had not yet asked him about his mask. It was likely out of respect to him, that she never broached the subject. If she wanted to know she would ask, it was simply her manner. Tatiana was shockingly direct with people, and he liked that about her. At first he had been shocked to discover a woman, especially one of such high class, could be so crude and honest; what he had first mistaken as vulgarity he now saw as part of her unique character. She did not play coy games; she was simply direct and blunt. A trait not easily found in people.

He pretended to keep reading the book on his lap as Meg walked over to where Tatiana was sitting. There was hardly a time when those two were not together, very much like their parents. His gaze discreetly moved to where Madam Giry and Nicholas were sitting. They were having tea, each speaking of the things they would need to do once they arrived in Saint Petersburg. He couldn't deny his nerves were on edge a bit, as he realized he would soon have to mingle with large crowds and pretend to belong in their world. He had no choice, he had to at least try to be accepted into their world, and if he wasn't . . . Well, he would just go back to the old way of life and hide in the shadows of his new home. His home . . . a slight smile graced his lips.

He had designed the perfect home, yet somehow he couldn't bring himself to finish the design, feeling something was missing from it. He had completed all his commission obligations before making his trip and had thus received his salary and a bonus for his work. Something about actually earning his own salary for his own work, gave him a sense of proud accomplishment. He had always demanded a salary and in return, he wouldn't harm anyone, and now all he had to do was compose his music and he'd be paid. He was being paid to do something he loved; the ironies of life are indeed grand.

Erik stood up from his seat and retreated to his bedroom. There had only been four bedrooms available, therefore Meg and Tatiana shared one room, which neither really minded. He had heard Meg's laughter late into the night. Apparently recalling the first time one of the stage help had attempted to kiss her, only for her mother to appear and hit his knee with her cane. He had laughed too, remembering the look of astonishment on the young boy's face. He had seen so many things from the shadows, people would be completely shocked to know someone had been watching them do things no decent Christian would. He removed his jacket and practically threw himself onto his bed. He was weary from three days of traveling and couldn't wait until they arrived in Saint Petersburg. He had many places he wished to see, beginning with the infamous Winter Palace.

* * *

Tatiana brushed her hair as she glanced out her window to see the small village they were passing. She was sure they would be arriving in the morning. She was more than a little anxious and nervous about their impending arrival. She and her father had requested an audience with the Tsar. She hoped he would listen and grant her what she craved more than anything in the world, her freedom. Her father had explained the only hope for an annulment was for her to prove the marriage was never consummated. Vladimir had sent her father a letter stating he would be coming for her, and she knew he would. The fact that he had stayed away this long was not lost on her and she feared what would happen when he did come for her. She had sworn she would never again return to him, and it was a vow she planned to keep.

She finished braiding her hair and began to undress. She had been trying so hard to keep busy and she had nearly succeeded except at nights, when her thoughts always tormented her so. Tatiana finished undressing and climbed into bed.  
Meg sat up in bed and turned her head to see Tatiana laying on her side. "Is he the reason why you want to get a divorce?"

"No. Go to bed Meg." she said sternly as she pulled the covers over herself.

Meg pouted in frustration. _Just when I thought I was getting somewhere..._

* * *

Erik and Nicholas waited for the woman to emerge from their rooms so they could leave their train carriage. The train had arrived in Saint Petersburg over half an hour ago, and still the woman would not hurry. Nicholas sat lazily reading the morning paper, not unfazed in the least despite their quickly dissolving schedule. Irritated by his impatience he began to pace the sitting area.

"Calm yourself, Erik." Nicholas laughed. "Women tend to take their time when preparing themselves, no matter the occasion."

"How difficult can it be to dress oneself?"

"For you and I." Lowering his paper, his eyes crinkled in amusement, "Not very long at all. Minutes perhaps? Woman however, can and will spend hours on their appearance, from their hair, to ensuring they are wearing the proper matching shoes."

"We cannot even see their feet!"

"It matters not if we can or cannot see it. As long as they know, that is all that matters."

Erik rolled his eyes in irritation, when finally Madame Giry made her way in. He noticed she was dressed in her usual black, but the dress was far finer than the clothing she normally wore. She also wore a very elaborate hat and as customary a matching umbrella. He observed the shy smile she gave Nicholas as she made her way towards them.

"You look simply divine Antoinette."

"Merci." She blushed and Erik found himself suppressing his laughter.

"Mama, is everyone ready?" Meg asked as she entered the room, adjusting her hat slightly. In many ways Meg reminded him of a child, although she had ceased to be one years ago.

"Stop fretting with your hat child." her mother lectured. "We are waiting for Tatiana."

"No need to wait for me," Tatiana strolled into the room with an air of sophistication that underlined her noble birth. Erik remained still, his expression revealing nothing of his emotions, yet his eyes followed her every movement. "Shall we?" she asked innocently.

* * *

Tatiana found herself overwhelmed with warm wishes the moment she entered her home. The warm reception was one she had expected but still did much to lift her spirits. She had attracted a few stares at the station and during the carriage ride home. She had also noticed some of the stares had been directed at Erik, who attempted to hide his mask with his coat and hat. The sight of him having to endure such trials had pulled strongly at the strings of her heart.

It had not escaped her notice how quickly he had retreated to his assigned bedroom once they had entered the mansion. She watched as he disappeared upstairs and found herself tempted to follow suit, if only to provide some comfort. Her intentions were quickly pushed aside when her father insisted she take her time to greet the servants individually. A task she did not mind for in all honesty, she had always been attached to those who had been under their employment for years.

When at last she was able to retreat to her old bedroom, she found herself overwhelmed with memories and emotions long suppressed. Everything had been prepared in advance for their arrival, so no sheets covered the furniture. All of her belongings were just as she had left them years before. There was an eeriness to the whole experience, which she could not quite explain. It was simply surreal.

Slowly she walked towards her writing desk where she found a familiar item. One she had purposely left behind. One she had hoped to see again but did not expect to have survived in her absence. Ever so carefully, she reached for the jeweled frame. The photograph was of her father, but it was not the source of her anxious gaze. With trembling fingers, she opened the back of the frame. A small smile formed as she stared the hidden photograph.

"Sasha." she whispered.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was short, but I promise the next one will be long****er. Please don't forget to review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**_I wanted to thank everyone for the PM's and story alerts. I apologize for not updating sooner or more regularly. There is a lot going on, and with a faulty laptop, it's been harder still. Also, reminding those who remember the original, that the chapters will be longer because I'm merging shorter chapters so hopefully at the end of the revision the story will be between _70-80 chapters instead of 145. **

**_Thank you everyone for the support and I do hope you enjoy this chapter. _**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Erik relaxed in the bath he had ordered prepared. It had been a long journey and the basic luxury of a lingering warm bath, had been one he had not been able to fully enjoy during their voyage. Traveling with three woman meant having to suffer warm water shortages. He frowned thinking back to cry he gave when he set foot in what he believed was a warm bath, only to discover it ice cold.

He assumed everyone else was likely still downstairs speaking to the servants. It had been surprising to see how excited the servants had been to see their masters return. Joyous would be the proper word as they embraced and greeted Nicholas and Tatiana. Tatiana had been quick to return the affections, her smile remained a fixated feature on her face for some time. A thing which was a rarity for her. Uncomfortable with the displays of affections, he was quick to remove himself from the gathering.

He did not know what was expected of him; nor did he really care at the moment. There was much weighting on his mind. Much he had ignored or at least, been attempting to ignore. He frowned in annoyance with himself.

"Fool," he mumbled as he brought a handful of water up to his face. His thoughts were likely to lead him to disaster one way or another. He was better off pushing all thoughts out of his mind, he reasoned as he reached for a towel.

* * *

Tatiana looked at the clock; frowning at the time. She had expected Erik to come see her shortly after their arrival. It had been some time since she had unpacked her belongings. Annoyed she wondered if it would be too bold to go seek him out. It would be sure to cause a stir with the servants, if she were to be found knocking on his bedroom door.

It was amazing how he somehow always managed to walk into her bedroom without making a sound. The man was gifted in his ability to sneak about. A gift he took full advantage of. Huffing in irritation she wondered how long she would have to wait for him to make an appearance. Again the thought of seeking him out crossed her mind, and again she reasoned what would happen if she was found-. A small smile suddenly graced her lips. The key word had been 'if'. She knew her home like the back of her hand. Every room, every hall, every _secret _path engraved forever in her memory.

Biting her lip, she grinned as she walked towards the secret door located next to the fireplace in her room. Once she pressed on the hidden opener, the door opened. Smiling she stepped in and immediately looked for the candle holder and candles located on the other side As a child she had often avoided tutors and lessons by sneaking about the mansion. Her father had shown her the secret passages never believing she would utilize them for her own mischievous behavior.

The passages were simple enough if you knew them. There were built by her great-great grandfather who had always been an eccentric according to her father. Afraid of war and the chaos which usually ensued he had insisted on having passages to provide a route of escape, should the need ever arise. Naturally, they had never been use for those purposes, rather entertainment for generations of children in her family.

With only candlelight to guide her, she thought with amusement how wonderful it would be to finally be the one to surprise him with a sudden appearance. Erik was always so proud and smug about his talent for sneaking about. A talent she envied to a degree, she would admit only to herself.

She finally reached the room Erik had been assigned. It was a respectable distance from her own chambers. Even guests could not be roomed too close to those of the families private chambers. Etiquette governed even the most trivial manners of their lives. It would be amusing if it wasn't so unnerving. She opened a small slot positioned behind a two way mirror. The mirror was placed next to the secret door. She was about to open slide open the door when she saw him emerge from the bathroom. Her mouth dropped slightly as she observed a very under dressed and wet Erik.

His hair was already neatly combed back, his mask impeccably placed and he was undressed save for the towel around his waist. A small rush of heat spread across her face as she realized how inappropriate it was for her to invading his privacy. Especially when he was obviously indisposed. Yet she could not turn away. She found herself mesmerized by his physique. Her lips parted slightly as she observed the stunning sight he presented. His broad muscular chest, those powerful arms, his lean and power legs. His built was exquisite. In her ogling she failed to notice his hand reaching for the towel around his waist until it was too late. Even as the towel dropped from his figure, she did not look away. She did not wish to look away!

Yet the moment the towel hit the floor, her eyes widened as a soft cry of shock escaped her lips. She quickly placed her hands over her mouth, which in return caused her candle to fall; the light extinguishing as it touched the floor. She saw him look up at the sound. His hand slowly reached for a robe casually thrown over a chair. Her hand remained firmly placed over her mouth, her body frozen in place. He put his robe on casually, his senses apparently were now alert and seeking out her presence. She bit her lip and prayed to all and god who was listening to spare her the humiliation of being discovered. Apparently someone did take pity upon her for he quickly returned to dressing himself.

She rushed away from the mirror and began to head back towards the entrance to her own room. Her heart was hammering against her chest, she felt so mortified! _'How can I look him in the face after seeing . . _.' Her face became redder at the memory of the sight of his entire nude body.

She reached the door and quietly opened it popping her head outside to make sure no one was around. Closing the door behind her, her hands came up to her face. Her mortification knew no bounds, her entire face felt as though it would remain a flamed forever.

"STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" She cried. Her hands came up to her face yet again, as she shook her head trying to erase the image of his naked body. She could not forget the sight of him, nor she could forget the feelings it had aroused in her. She had felt an overwhelming desire to touch him. _'The flesh is flesh . . .' _Her mind reasoned. It was wrong for her to be having such thoughts? Enjoying the sight of his body, especially if she did it without his consent? She was no better than a wanton! _'How can I ever be in the same room as he?'_

* * *

The next morning, Tatiana refused to get out of bed, she couldn't. She told everyone she was feeling ill and would remain in her room. Her father, concerned, had stopped by to inquire about her health.

"Do I need to send for a doctor?" He asked gently as he sat on the edge of her bed. Raising his hand to place it against her forehead.

"No, I simply feel tired," It was not a lie, for she was tired. "Nothing to be concerned about." She said with a small smile to reassure him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Why don't you go show Madam Giry and Meg around the city?"

"I was planning on taking everyone out, but it seems you and Erik are indisposed this morning."

"Erik is ill?" she asked slightly concerned.

"No and yes. He hasn't slept much and feels very tired. I told him to get some rest. The poor boy has some of the worst sleeping habits I have ever heard of. He has gone days without sleep at a time, and I'm afraid there is little I can do to help him."

"Perhaps a little silence will help him."

"Perhaps, but for now let's worry about your own health. Get some rest. I will take the Giry girls out for the day."

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"How are things progressing with Madam Giry?" She asked shyly, knowing she was touching on a very sensitive topic.

"I do believe I'm making some progress," he admitted, " although I highly doubt she would have me."

"Perhaps the third time is the charm?" she said.

"I doubt it. She is still hurt and rightfully so. I have loved her for as long as I can remember." He looked down, his expression filled with remorse. "I knew it was wrong to love her, but the heart is a fickle thing. Your mother never forgave me for it either. She never let me forget my sin, and believed the deaths of our babies were a result of my sin."

"It is not a sin to love."

"It is when you are married and your wife is not one you love."

"Mother was hurt. Her words were spoken in anger and resentment. She is no longer here, she has not been for years. If there was a wrong committed, have you both not paid a high enough price all these years? Now is the time for you and Madam Giry to finally be together."

"I do not believe God intended for us to be together in this lifetime. Perhaps in next, but not in this one."

"You cannot always believe your fate to be in the hands of God, father."

"You have broken away from your faith, and because you have you do not remember what it is to believe." He gave her a soft smile with a hint of sadness in his eyes, "I suppose with the suffering you have experienced it is only natural that you would turn away from your faith. You should not blame our Lord for your suffering. The blame lays with me."

"I do not hold you responsible, papa. I do blame God, the Tsar, and Vladimir, but never you." She said as she hugged her father and buried her face against his chest. She could never hold anything against the one true constant love in her life, her father.

"I do not deserve you." He whispered.

She pulled away and patted his hand. "Now go and try to win the hand of the woman you love."

"Easier said than done." He joked as he kissed her forehead and quietly retreated from the room.

* * *

By midday, Tatiana had yet to emerge from her room. Her morning had been spent reading comfortably in her bed. She had desired to read 'Wuthering Heights' for some time, however she had been forbidden to do so by Vladimir. He had declared the book 'highly immoral. As if he were one to preach about morality, she thought bitterly. When her lunch was brought in by the maid, she had made it a point to stress her need for privacy. She did not wish to be disturb by servants unless they were summoned.

Her attention was so wrapped in the tale she was reading, she failed to notice her bedroom door open. Nor did she notice it quietly closed then locked. Her thoughts were solely on the tragic lovers of tale, Heathcliff and Catherine. A passion so intense it was literally destroying not only them but the world around them.

"It must really be a good book." Erik breathed softly as he casually walked over to her. Her eyes widened in alarm as a wave of heat hit her face. _Oh, no _. . . She didn't dare look up, she couldn't face him, not yet.

"It is." She managed to say, without removing her eyes from the book. "What are you doing in my room?"

"I became rather bored and was inclined to do some reading. However I have read all my books twice over. I was hoping you would have some new material."

"You can take a look at my collection, although I do not know if you will find anything to your liking."

"What are you reading?"

"Wuthering Heights."

"Is it any good?"

"Yes." She replied. _Why couldn't he just leave_? Her face felt as though it were on fire. She felt her bed shift a bit and turned her head to see Erik leaning back onto the pillows right next to her. "What are you doing?" She shrieked as she sat up straight, forgetting her shame from the previous day.

"Getting comfortable." He replied in the most casual manner, it was almost insulting.

"In my bed?"

"Your small sofa does not appear to be large enough for me to lay on it." He reasoned.

She sighed heavily, he really was impossible. "Fine." She said as she handed him one of her pillows. He smiled in triumph as he adjusted himself.

"Not feeling well today?" He asked as he placed his hand over his eyes.

"Tired mostly. I did not feel like venturing out."

"Not even with your best friend?"

"Not even with her." She responded with a slightly raised eyebrow at the tone of his voice. "Father said you have not been sleeping well."

"I have never been a very good sleeper. How about yourself?"

"I use to have trouble sleeping as child." She confessed while observing his features. He really did appear to be very tired. She remembered an old trick her nanny would do when she could not sleep. "Come here." She commanded.

"Excuse me?" He asked with a surprised look over his features.

She was pulling a pillow from behind her and putting it on her lap. "Trust me." She said as she reached out to pull him down onto the pillow. He hesitantly allowed her to pull him down onto the pillow located directly over her lap. "Just relax, Erik." She whispered as she began to run her fingers gently over his head. He closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her hands on his face. When her hand came down to his jaw, he buried his face into her palm. She said nothing, only continued to offer what little she could to ensure he got some rest. Her hair, which was loosely pulled back by a ribbon, began to fall over her shoulders and onto his face. Before she could remove her locks he lifted his hand and began to play with the locks. Their was silence between them, as she continued running her fingers back and forth behind his ear. Before too long she realized Erik had fallen asleep on her lap.

* * *

Erik POV

Erik had only been able to sleep for perhaps an hour when he awoke. His sleeping habits had always been a cause for concern for Madam Giry. Although accustomed to short periods of rest, he had to admit he found the lack of sleep very frustrating. Nicholas had come to his room early in morning as was his habit, knowing he would find him awake. He had invited him to join the rest of the group for an outing. Not sharp on the idea of publicly socializing, and because of his lack of sleep, he declined the invitation. Nicholas advised him to try and get some rest. It was only when he was brought his morning meal that he was informed by the servant Tatiana had remained home due to an illness. This had arisen his concern but was told nothing some rest would not cure. He had tried to rest but after some hours he finally gave up and decided to visit his ill teacher.

He had waited until he knew the servants were all downstairs and quickly went towards the other side of the hall were the Alexandrov's apartments were located. He knew which room was Tatiana's from the first time he had been there. He gently opened the door and look in to see Tatiana on her bed reading and apparently so concentrated on her book that she did not hear the door open. He walked into the room closing the door behind him, carefully locking it so no one would come in and find him there and come to indecent conclusions.

Even after he locked the door she was still not aware of his presence until he finally spoke. Although started by his presence, she did not look up at him. Yet despite her lack of eye contact, he could see her face had become flushed as she maintained her eyes fixed on her book. He wondered if she was bothered by his presence her bedroom. Although her lack of eye contact was also intriguing.

They began to converse but still she did not look up at him. Finally frustrated he had walked up to her bed and laid down next to her. He expected her to throw him off her bed, but she did not. Then she shocked him by asking him to lay on her lap! What kind of woman invited a man to lay on her lap? He should have declined the invitation, but he didn't. Against his better judgment he allowed her to pull him down onto a pillow, as she began the caress his face gently. The feel of her fingertips against his flesh was simply too much for him.

The warmth of her body drew him in. The smell of her soft perfume intoxicated him, and the knowledge that she was touching him out of her own free will simply fed his inner longing to be accepted. When her hair feel on his face, he couldn't resist the urge to play with it by wrapping his finger around one of the curls. Being there with her no words, no insults, nothing to disturb the intimate moment, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep secured in the comfort of her arms.

* * *

Tatiana kept reading her novel as she played with a strand of Erik's hair. He had been asleep for nearly two hours and she did not wish to wake him. Without really knowing how to explain it, she found herself enjoying the odd situation she was in. She did not mind having him so close to her, she rather liked playing with his hair, and was enjoying his presence even if he was sleeping. She turned the last page on her book and finished reading the novel she had been forbidden to read for years.

It was certainly different from any story she had previously read. The characters of Heathcliff and Catherine loved each other deeply, but Catherine feared the instability Heathcliff offered her. Her gaze fell onto Erik's sleeping face, he looked so peaceful. _So beautiful.._.

Beautiful! Where did that come from? She pushed the thought away. Yes, he was handsome she reasoned, however she couldn't see him as anything more than a friend. He stirred slightly and turned his head so his masked side was now facing up while his unmasked side was laying against the pillow.

She could not deny the temptation that was pulling at her hand to remove the mask. She wanted to know what it was he was felt a need to hide from everyone. _He has given you his trust._..a voice inside her mind whispered. Yes, he had trusted her in his own way and he had opened himself enough to allow her into his life, and if she removed the mask she would be fracturing the foundation their relationship was based on. They may not always see eye to eye, they may always seem to enjoying making the other mad, but each gave as got as they got. If she betrayed his trust then he would betray hers. She would then be no better than the others who have betrayed him. She moved her hand away determined not to allow her curiosity to get best of her. If he wanted her to see his face then he would show her out of his own free will. _How ironic_, she thought, _here I am trying to see his entire face when I have already seen his_…she blushed deeply. _No proper girl thought of such things_, she reminded herself. She put her book down on the nightstand. Since there was little else she could do she may as well get some rest too.

* * *

Meg could not believe all the beautiful stores they had visited. Nicholas had showered both woman with numerous gifts, ignoring her mother's requests to stop. Oh, how she wished he was her father! Her mother lavished affection on her but never the expensive gifts Monsieur Alexandrov was giving them both. Although her mother would still not talk about the subject, Meg knew enough to realize whatever love there had been between the two, was obviously still there. In fact, she could almost swear he was courting her mother.

The thought of her mother with a suitor was very amusing, no matter how times she thought it over, she always giggled at the thought of her mother being courted.

Tatiana seemed to be aware of her father intentions but also never spoke of the subject. It seemed no one ever wanted to speak about anything. Their lack of trust caused her to miss Christine. They always shared every minimal detail about everything. Although Tatiana was very good to her, she was hurt by her lack of confidence. Tatiana was not as open as she was. It seemed to be a one sided relationship and it also hurt to see her spend more time with Erik. She knew Tatiana was only teaching Erik as she was teaching her, but still her mother had told her that Erik and Tatiana were finally getting along enough to be considered friends. The thought that someone like Erik could earn the trust of Tatiana before her, really bothered her. She no longer feared Erik as she once had, but she also didn't feel completely at ease with him. Come to think about it, she was the perhaps the only person who felt awkward around him. The servants treated him just as they treated her, some of the maids even flirted shamelessly with him. He was not the same man who had haunted the Opera house, he was different. Perhaps if Christine had seen this side of Erik before things would have turned out differently.

Her mind drifted to her friend. Christine had written to her over the last few weeks and often. She sometimes received up to three letters a week a very uncommon thing in their times, considering the distance. She was in England with Raoul on their honeymoon. Although from what she read it seemed to be more about business than pleasure. The more she thought about it the more she began to think that perhaps Christine was not as happy as she should be for a newlywed. Meg had an overwhelming urge to run home and write to her. She had told Christine about the Alexandrov's but never mentioned Erik directly.

It was something her mother had warned her about early on. She was to never tell Christine or Raoul of Erik's whereabouts. Raoul was still angry enough to have Erik captured and hung without an ounce of remorse, and although Meg never thought she would wish otherwise, she did not wish for Erik to be hanged. He was an intelligent man who had gone mad out of love, therefore as far as she was concerned he was just as sane as her. Love makes people commit some of the most desperate acts, or so her mother said.

" Meg are you done looking?" Madam Giry asked as she approached her daughter. Meg was standing in front of a candy shop and one glance from her mother was all the warning she needed.

" Yes, mama." she said with a slight pout. _I never get to eat any sweets_.

* * *

He had been so comfortable in his sleep that it had been extremely difficult for him to awaken. He was being pulled from his sleep by a knock at the door. His eyes opened but his vision was still a bit blurred. He felt his arms around something warm, a hand was on his neck and his head was buried on something soft and round...for a moment he thought he actually felt his heart cease in his chest. He looked up to see Tatiana sleeping with her head slightly turned exposing her long milky neck with some of her locks falling over her shoulder. He had been resting his head directly on her bosom! He heard another knock again.

"Tatiana?"

It was Nicholas! He began to remove himself from her embrace but by doing so abruptly woke her. She opened her eyes which quickly became wide as his hand shot up to her mouth. He placed a finger over his lips and pointed to the door as another knock came. She nodded in understanding and he removed his hand.

"One moment please." she cried out as she moved to get out of her bed. Erik removed himself from her with a slight blush on his face and began to move quietly into the closest door available but not before turning to Tatiana who gave a nod of approval.

She pulled her robe closer as she unlocked and opened the door to allow her father in.

"Where you asleep?"

" Yes."

" I didn't mean to wake you. Why was your door locked?"

" It's a bad habit I have." She said as she rubbed her eyes.

" How was your outing?"

" Very well. Meg seemed to have had fun, as did her mother."

" I'm glad."

" We have an appointment with the Tsar tomorrow." he said

" We do?"

" Yes. I will need to speak with the Tsar on a separate issue before addressing your marriage. I must warn you Tatiana, it may be required for you to disclose some intimate information about yourself and Vladimir's..."

" I understand." she blurted out.

He nodded silently in understanding aware it would be easy for her to discuss such intimate things to a man. He too had some things to address with his once close friend. His nervous were on an edge as much for his daughter as for himself. Noticing something odd about her father , Tatiana approached him closer.

" What is it father?"

" I asked her to marry me." he said softly with a slight twinkle in his eyes. The same twinkle he got every time he talked about _her_.

" Did she turn you down again?" she inquired sadly.

" The wedding will be in two months."

* * *

_**A/N: Please be kind and review!**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The smile that formed on her lips caused her entire face to light up and Nicholas, once again, saw the daughter he had given away years before. She jumped onto him in pure happiness, and he embraced her with a full heart in return.

"She finally said yes!"

"Yes, she finally accepted me! After all these years we are finally going to be married." He said with a beaming smile that made him appear so much younger.

"Oh, papa, I cannot believe it! I didn't ever think the day would come when I would finally see you two together. You have to tell me everything!"

"I will. First, get dressed and come downstairs for dinner in an hour. We will talk afterwards." She nodded her head and accepted the gentle kiss he placed on her forehead. "I will see you for dinner." He said as he walked out of her room.

Tatiana locked the door before letting out a squeal of delight, clapping her hands and rushing towards her closet. She had to change! Her father was getting married! She jumped back when the door opened and Erik stepped out. She had forgotten about Erik.

"Did you hear?" She asked as she opened the second door to expose her massive closet.

He looked at her for a moment before answering. "Yes." She didn't dare look him in the face as she began to go through her clothes trying to find something to wear for dinner. She heard him come up behind her and grab a dress off the hanger. "This will do just fine." He declared as he knelt down to select a pair of matching shoes. Her mouth opened slightly. Was he telling her what to wear?

"Don't you think this is too much?" She inquired as she looked over the dress. The edges of the skirt were made from some of the finest lace, as were the sleeves. The front of the dress was not too low cut but it seemed too opulent for a family dinner.

"Its not every day one's father becomes engaged." He reasoned as he walked to her jewelry cabinet. "Well, someone has quite a collection." He marveled as his eyes roamed over the dozens of diamond, sapphire, emerald, and pearl pieces.

"It's not mine. It's my family's." She declared walking back into her bedroom with the gown in her hands.

"Regardless, it is very impressive collection." He whispered as he located the perfect earrings for her to wear with her dress, along with the matching diamond bracelet. She laid out her dress on the bed and looked at the clock, she probably had about forty-five minutes to get prepared. Her head was still spinning, Madam Giry was going to be her stepmother and Meg would be her sister. They were going to be a family!

"You should go prepare yourself." Tatiana advised as she went to her door and peeked her head out to ensure no one was around. She would hate for her father to find Erik leaving her room when he just saw her in her robe. He would likely jump to improper conclusions very quickly. She closed her door and turned around only to have Erik before her; staring at her with a gentle stare a slight grin, which would have melted any woman's heart. He slowly took her hand, his movements slow, almost deliberately slow; as he raised it to his lips and placed a kiss on it ever so softly. A shot of electricity ran up her arm as her mind went blank for but a few seconds. Thought was restored when she felt something in her hand. She looked at the contents to see a bracelet and matching earrings.

"Thank you." He smiled before hurrying out of her room. She could not suppress the smile that graced her lips as she closed the door behind him.

* * *

Madam Giry sat in her room preparing herself for dinner. She had been holding off talking with Meg all afternoon, and there was really no way around it. She had to talk to her before she heard it from anyone else. She was not ashamed but was afraid of how her daughter would react to her mother's past. "Meg?" she called out. Meg popped her head out of the closet and walked towards her mother.

"Yes, mama?"

"Child we must have a talk."

"A talk? I didn't do anything mama, I swear it!"

"It's not about you Meg, although now I must figure out what you have done." She said with a slightly raised eyebrow as Meg lowered her head.

"Then what must we talk about?"

"Meg, you have often asked me what it was that I was trying so hard to hide about my past and Nicholas. Well, I think the time has come for me to tell you everything, but I must ask that you do not interrupt me or ask any questions until I am done." Meg nodded in agreement, as she sat before her mother. Madam Giry took a deep breath before looking at her daughter. "I was sixteen years old when Nicholas Alexandrov walked into my life. I was a very serious girl even back then, thinking of nothing but dancing and the Opera house. Nicholas was everything a prince charming should be: tall, handsome, charming, and very wealthy. However, I thought him to be one of those many men who came the Opera house seeking a mistress, not a wife. Nicholas came to one of the showings with a group of his friends, but while his friends were admiring the other more mature beauties on stage, I felt Nicky's gaze on me throughout the show. After the show, when I was tending to my feet, he came to introduce himself to me . . ."

_ FLASH BACK_

"I'm not interested in becoming anyone's whore, Monsieur, so please go back to where ever it was you came from." The young Antoinette said without looking up. She had enough of these wealthy aristocrats seeking to find warmth in her bed.

"Excuse me?" Nicholas had never been treated in such a manner by anyone, and here was a young girl telling him to go away. "I think you have made a mistake . . .

"There is no mistake. I'm not interested." She said as she finally looked up to stare at the most stunningly handsome man that she had ever seen. For a moment, she could have sworn time stopped and it was just the two of them.

"My name is Nicholas Alexandrov, and I can assure you on my family's honor, I have no such intention. I simply wanted to congratulate you on such a splendid performance." She eyed him carefully. She had grown up in an environment where you did not trust men of his type. It was too easy for one to fall for a pretty face and words filled with promises that were never kept. She had seen to many girls fall under the illusion their boyfriend would be different, that their boyfriend would marry them and take them away. She had yet to see such an illusion fulfilled by any man. "May I know your name at least?" He asked, trying to get her to talk to him.

She should have had him taken away by one of the backstage hands, who also served as bodyguards of a sort, but for some unknown reason she couldn't turn him away. "Antoinette." She said.

Over the next few weeks, there was not a day when Nicholas would not come before and after the show. He seemed to always be there, awaiting her, and he never failed to have her room filled with flowers. He had somehow managed to break through the thick layer of ice she had formed around herself as a barrier, and made himself at home in her heart. She would find herself eagerly awaiting him so they could continue their conversations, which to some were nothing of importance, while to her they were the reason for her happiness. She had fallen for him, and although he never attempted anything outside a friendship with her, she knew he cared for her as well. Nicholas seemed to be filled with inner turmoil, but never spoke of the reason for his pain. He seemed reluctant to speak of his family, only saying they were financially well off.

Nicholas had decided to take Antoinette out for a stroll and promised to be on his best behavior. Unable to say no, she had accepted his offer but only if he promised to have her back by ten. Nicholas had accepted and off they went to their first real date. Throughout the meal, she smiled and laughed at his jokes. He in turn simply could not remove his gaze from her; he would always claim she was never lovelier than that night when she was truly relaxed and open. As they returned to the Opera house, Nicholas explained how special she was to him. "Antoinette, you must know I feel."

"How we both feel." She said as she took his hand.

He looked at her with his eyes filled with terrible sadness before kissing her hand repeatedly. "Antoinette, sweet, sweet Antoinette. You have no idea what you have done to me." He whispered harshly into her hand. She said nothing, only gently touched his cheek, but did not kiss him.

The next few days, Nicholas surprised her with a beautiful diamond and emerald necklace. Never having seen such a jewel, or let alone received one, she had been at a loss for words. Nicholas simply smiled and said it was the least she deserved. "Do not be so shy, little one. It's the least you deserve."

"Why do you treat me so well? You do not even ask for anything in return."

"Do you care about me?"

"You know I do."

"Then that is repayment enough." He said softly. Touched by his words and unable to contain her emotions any longer she practically threw herself into his arms and kissed him on the lips, catching him by complete surprise. Although surprised he could not push her away from him, instead he drew her closer and returned the kiss with an intense longing that scared her a little. She savored the feel of his lips on hers and marveled how wonderful it felt to have his body so close to hers. However, before she knew it, he pulled away from her. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to...you..." she placed a finger over his lips and silenced him. Whatever he had to say didn't matter; nothing besides him mattered for her at that moment. She wrapped her arms around him, just wanting to feel him close. Unable to deny her silent request, he returned the embrace, kissing the top of her head as he leaned into her.

Over the next few weeks, they become closer and practically inseparable. He couldn't bear the idea of being away from her, nor could he stand any other man looking at her. They never went beyond kisses and hugs, and every time she thought the time had come for them to give into their passions, he would pull away from her, leaving her lips swollen from their kisses and her face flushed with desire. "What is wrong with me?" She asked him one night.

"What do you mean?" He asked, not sure what she was referring to.

"We have known each other for six months now, Nicky. We have been technically seeing each other for three months and yet you have never...I mean we haven't..." She lowered her gaze, feeling very embarrassed and vulgar for daring to bring up such a subject. He looked at her, surprised, before bringing his hands up to her face so he was holding her small head between his palms.

"Antoinette, I love you with a passion no man or beast could ever know. You are the most beautiful thing in my life, you are all the good in my life and because of this and more, I could never take you unless you were my wife." He said. She closed her eyes, realizing what he was saying. He would never marry her; therefore, he could not comprise himself or her to such a thing.

"I know I'm not of your class, I accept it and accept the terms you have laid out for this relationship, Nicky. I don't have to be your wife, and I'm not asking to be your wife. I'm just asking for you." She said as she sat on his lap and laid her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes in sexual frustration. He wanted her, God help him he wanted her so bad it actually did hurt. "I swear Antoinette, one day you will be my wife." He said sternly as he leaned in to kiss her. She had believed him when he told her he would marry her. She would have believed him if he told her that the moon was made out of cheese, because that was how much she loved him. She trusted him blindly, not caring what people said or thought, only caring about him and dreaming of the day they would be together as husband and wife. When he had to leave for two weeks on a business trip, she cried for hours, wishing he didn't have to go, and sent him telegrams every day.

_Nicky,_

_ My beautiful darling, I await you with open arms. I thank God every morning and night for having given me such a wonderful man as my soul mate. You must think me foolish and immature, but it's so true. My heart, body and soul are yours and yours only. I love you Nicky, never forget that._

_ Yours Always,_

Antoinette.

Unknown to Antoinette, Nicholas was trying desperately to find a way to be with her always. He couldn't nor wouldn't phantom the idea of giving her up. He had fallen in love with her like a fool and no man would stop him from seeking happiness in his life with the woman he loved. He was stuck in a situation, he had only himself to blame for. He should have been completely honest from the start, but he didn't think things would go this far. It was never his intention to fall in love, but the heart is a silly and mysterious thing no one can control. Upon his return to Paris, he rushed to Antoinette's side, and for hours, they held each other, talking about the things they had done while they were apart. Her joy at having him back did not mask the agony reflected in his features; something was troubling him enough to have her worried.

"What is wrong Nicky?" She asked as she ran her hands over his face.

"I love you Antoinette."

"And I love you, Nicky." She whispered as she kissed him deeply. He gently pushed her away.

"I can't there is something . . ." He tried to say before he was hushed by Antoinette who removed herself from his arms, so that she stood before him and leaned in to kiss his neck.

"I want to show you how much I love you, Nicky." She whispered into his ear. She pulled herself away from him slightly and without removing her gaze from him, she started to undo her dress from the front. Her fingers undid the buttons one by one, and even though she was blushing, she could not remove her eyes from his. His eyes moved from hers to the exposed skin she was revealing as, one by one, each button allowed him a glimpse of her hidden treasures. Unable to resist, he pulled her closer to him and buried his head in her neck, savoring the taste of her skin on his lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, biting her lips to contain the dozens of emotions that were going through her body at the moment. She felt his lips move lower, toward her breast, and then felt his hand tugging at her corset until, finally, it became lose enough for her breast to be exposed to his mouth. One had went to caress one breast while his mouth worked on the other. She felt her knees give out, but he lifted her with one arm and laid her down on the floor before continuing his assault on her.

Never did she imagine there could be such intimacy between a man and a woman. She couldn't bare it, and soon found herself undoing his shirt wanting to feel and taste his skin just as he was. His mouth went up to capture her lips as his hand started to hike up her skirt, when loud shouting from outside the dressing room brought them out of their feverish passion. They stared at each other in confusion when they heard footsteps coming towards the room. He quickly jumped up and threw his jacket onto her so she could cover herself just as she was stood up the door was thrown open.

"Nicholas!" A young woman screamed. Nicholas became tense and moved in front of Antoinette to shield her from the small crowd outside her dressing room door.

"Marie." He said calmly.

"How could you?" Antoinette looked at the woman who had dared to enter her room in such a manner and how did she know Nicky? The woman was perhaps in her early twenties, pretty in the classical sense, blond, green eyes with a very petite figure.

"I can explain . . ."

"Explain what?" She demanded and she approached Nicholas with tears in her eyes. "You were willing to give everything up for this whore!"

"Don't insult her!" He shouted.

"I will! What else do you call a woman who has come between a husband and wife?"

"Husband?" Antoinette whispered . . . Did she say _husband_? No, it couldn't be true.

"Yes! Husband! Didn't he tell you he was married?" Marie shouted as she approached the stunned girl.

Nicholas turned around to face Antoinette, taking her shaking hands in his. "I tried to tell you, but . . ."

She pulled her hands away and slapped him hard across the face. "I trusted you! Get out!" She shouted as she started to push him out.

"Please, let me explain Antoinette! Don't do this!" He pleaded, but she did not want to hear him. He had betrayed her. She ran to her vanity set and started throwing things, not caring if they hit him or his wife, just wanting to hurt them for hurting her.

"Maybe now you will think twice before you become involved with just any man!" Marie shouted before a jar of powder hit her in the head. Her eyes opened up in shock as a cry escaped her lips.

"OUT! Both of you, get out! I don't ever want to see you again Nicholas, never again!" She managed to shout out before she ran out of the room and made her way through the crowd, who were all looking at the drama unfolding before their eyes.

"Antoinette!" Nicholas tried to reach her but was blocked by several men who refused to allow him through. Antoinette ran to one of the hidden entries to Erik's lair. She needed to be alone, away from her everyone. He had lied to her; he had made her fall in love with him knowing they would never be together. Once she managed to reach the stairs, she finally allowed herself to crumble to the floor in tears. Large, painful sobs escaped her lips in attempts to release the anguish in her heart.

* * *

_**A/N: Please don't forget to review!**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Madam Giry looked at her daughter with a few tears in her eyes. "I was completely and utterly devastated; but I refused to let him get the better of me. I received several letters from him, attempting to explain what had happened, and although I believed him, I was too hurt to accept him back into my life. No one has hurt me the way he hurt me. I didn't respond to his letters, too wounded to write a few lines, too depressed to think of a possible future for us and determined to move forward."

"Why did you not attempt to write him back, mama?" Meg asked silently.

"After a month of self mourning, I realized that he had made a mistake, but so had I. I learned from several people who knew him and his wife, that the marriage was indeed troubled. A separation of some sort had taken place before we met. I was going to write to him when a woman came to see me, Tatiana Alexandrov, his mother."

_FLASHBACK_

"My dear, I know all about the little romance between yourself and Nicholas. I also know my son is deeply in love with you." She spoke gently as she walked close to the young Antoinette. Never had Antoinette seen such a matured beauty. The woman must have been at least in her mid-forties but appeared to be in her twenties. Her jet-black hair was gathered up in a stylish up do where several braids were elaborately woven around her head. Her elegant black dress was snug enough to reveal her slim waist before the skirt spread out, and her face showed almost no signs of age other than a line or two under her eyes. In truth, she was far prettier than girls half her age.

"Madam Alexandrov, I do not know what to say."

"Please let me speak first. I understand you and my son have feelings for one another, and I also understand the situation you find yourself in. Like my son, my marriage was arranged and although my late husband and I shared little in common, we came to care a great deal for each other. Nicholas and Marie are having the usual troubles in a young marriage that have been unable to form a family. Marie is a very fragile girl who has not been able to adjust to our country's harsh winter. You may know she has delivered two sons, both have died. This has not been easy on them; the loss of their children has placed an enormous strain on their marriage. This was why Nicholas had to get away, this is why he came to Paris, to forget his problems for a short while. He came here looking for peace and instead found you." Antoinette blushed and looked down unable to meet the gaze of the woman, who was being very polite yet very blunt.

"I understand you care about Nicholas. I love my son and want what is best for him and our family. I have nothing against you, I feel you are a wonderful girl, but I'm afraid an Alexandrov cannot marry a ballet dancer." Antoinette flinched at the comment, even when spoken gently, the insult stung. "If my son divorces Marie to marry you, he will be stripped of his title, estates, entire fortune, and be exiled from Russia. He is willing to give up everything for you, but you must think, is he really thinking straight? He is the last of the Alexandrov's, he must have an heir. He has to continue the family name." The older princess gave Antoinette a sympatric look as she lifted her hand to raise Antoinette's chin. "I do not expect you to understand, but in our culture, our name is everything. He may not regret giving up his fortune now, but what about later? He has never known a life outside the privileged life I have given him. Can you really see him working as an average man? Can you believe he won't wake up one day and wonder what have I done?"

Antoinette couldn't hold back the tears that were streaming down her face. She loved Nicholas and was willing to do anything for him, just as he was for her. He was willing to give up his entire lifestyle, everything that made him who he was just to be with her. "I do not tell you this to hurt your feelings, but I cannot allow my son to ruin his life this way. It is nothing personal against you. I beg you on my knees to let him go. If you really love him, you'll let him go." She pleaded.

Antoinette looked at her and turned away, holding herself up against her chair. She was right; she couldn't allow Nicholas to give up what was his birthright. She loved him too much to see him fall from his pedestal. Love is sacrifice...and because she loved him, she would do what was best for him, even if it meant breaking her own heart. "I swear to you, Madam, I won't allow him to leave his wife. I shall continue with my life and he will continue his. It was but a dream to think it would end differently."

Madam Alexandrov approached Antoinette and put her hand on the small girl's shoulder. "Thank you. This is for the best." She whispered before leaving Antoinette to her grief, as she realized what she had just done.

END FLASHBACK—

"His mother came to you?" Meg asked.

"She had every right, Nicholas was determined to leave Marie and if he married me he would have had nothing."

"He would have had you." Meg whispered as she laid her head on her mother's lap.

"He would have regretted it eventually and I could not have endured the thought of him blaming me for his misery. I much preferred to be a happy memory in his life than a bitter chapter." Madam Giry wiped the tears away from her eyes as she patted her daughter's head.

"What about father?"

"Your father and I had worked together for some time and he knew of my heartache. He said he had cared for me for some time, and promised to be true to me and only me. I knew I had to place distance between Nicholas and myself, so I accepted his proposal. He was such a kind man, Meg. I cared for him deeply, I always will, but I cannot lie to you. It's always been Nicky who I have loved."

Meg said nothing, only blinked several times trying to gather her thoughts. "You are both free now."

"Yes. Marie died when Tatiana was about six years old."

"Are you going to marry him?"

"Nicholas has been officially courting me for several weeks now, Meg. He wanted to prove to me his love and show me he could love you as his own child just as he loves Tatiana. The more time we spent together the more I realized I could never love another the way I loved him. I sacrificed our love years ago, but now things are different and there is no need to sacrifice. It may sound selfish but I want to be happy, I want to spend whatever life I have left with him. I have accepted his proposal." She said nervously.

Meg smiled and embraced her mother. Madam Giry couldn't help the surprised laugh that escaped her lips as she returned the embrace. It seemed everything was finally coming together the way it should have come together years ago.

* * *

During the dinner everyone toasted and rejoiced as Nicholas announced his intentions of marrying his Antoinette. Both Meg and Tatiana smiled at each other as they both realized their parents would finally be happy.

No one could contain their excitement. Well, almost everyone. Erik would give a slight smirk here and there, but other than that, he showed no other emotions throughout the dinner. Nothing could have been more perfect had they dreamed it. It seemed it had been forever since the dining room had last heard so many joyful voices.

Tatiana picked at her food; her thoughts lingering on her scheduled meeting with the Tsar. What would occur tomorrow when she had to face the Tsar? She then realized her father, too, would need to speak with him about his marriage. As always, it was the Tsar who had the final say in their lives.

She noticed her father smiling but saying little as Meg rambled on and on about the wedding. She could not help but wonder what was going through her father's head at that moment.

* * *

_Nicholas POV_

I had never meant to fall in love. I had only planned on taking a trip to escape the misery that had consumed my life. At twenty-seven I had been very unhappy in a arranged marriage. It had been arranged without my knowledge, by my parents and the results had been disastrous. As much for myself as it had been for Marie.

Marie was a wealthy aristocrat and with her came, not only wealth, but prestige, or so my mother had said. Marie was attractive enough, but her manner was distant and cold I could not love her no more than she could love me. As heir to one of the largest private fortunes in Russia, I had to have a child, an heir to continue the family legacy. However, unfortunately Marie, who was a woman of fragile health, had a harder time than most women carrying a child. Marie would suffer through two miscarriages before she would finally give birth to a stillborn son, Nicholas. I cannot deny I suffered much and for a time, the grief over the death of our son brought us together as we had not been before.

Marie became obsessed with having a child and wanted nothing more than to bear me an heir, which I desired, but not at the cost of her health, which had suffered more and more after every pregnancy. When Marie became pregnant again I was very attentive and caring towards her. When our son Sergei was born alive, we rejoiced, but not for long. Sergei had been a rather small baby and, like his mother of ill health, he died before he turned one.

Grief over our first-born son had brought us together, but grief over Sergei drove us apart. We both grieved differently. Devastated by the loss of another son, I decided to travel aboard, away from everything and everyone around me. Marie did not care; she had come to accept my withdrawn attitude and spent her time with her mother, spending away her monthly allowance. We were leading separate lives and my own mother was starting to regret the match. It was during this difficult time that I met the lovely Antoinette.

I had been practically dragged to the Opera with a group of my friends and, while they had their sights set on some of the more available dancers, my gaze had fallen on the young and graceful ballerina floating across the stage. She was not the prettiest girl I had seen, but there was something about her that made her far lovelier than all the rest. When I went backstage to meet her, I was taken aback by her harsh words. Never having been treated in such a manner, I refused to give up on her until she accepted my friendship. I had no intention of making her my mistress; I was far from perfect and, like many men of the day, I had my share of uneventful flings here and there, but never long term.

I was taken by the young girl whom I discovered was only sixteen. She intrigued me with her strong maturity and determination to be the best dancer in Paris. It was with her that I managed to forget my problems at least for a few precious moments. I promised myself that I would not disrespect her in any way, therefore always made sure to leave the dressing room door opened, so no one had any doubts about her reputation.

Perhaps I had fallen in love with her on the night I first laid eyes on her, or perhaps I had fallen in love with her without realizing. But one evening while we were talking, I looked at her reflection in the mirror and realized I was in love with her. She had given me hope of being able to love and be loved. I knew she cared for me before she even admitted it, there was something in a girl's eyes that always reflected their true emotions. Antoinette had my heart in the palm of her hand and I would have done anything she asked, if only she asked, but she never asked me for anything.

My guilt was too much for me to carry sometimes, feeling I was sinning without actually sinning. I also couldn't gather the courage to tell her I was married; deep inside I didn't want to her know. The fear of her pushing me away if she found out burned me inside, I loved her perhaps more than she would ever know or imagine.

When she kissed me for the first time, instead of pulling away, I pulled her closer to me, unable to deny my flesh the pleasure of having her in my arms. It was within a few days of our first kiss that I finally made up my mind to go speak with the Tsar and request a divorce. I didn't care if they took all my fortune, if they exiled me out of Russia, I didn't care about anyone but her. I wanted to be with her and form a life together. Her letters of love and devotion would bring tears to my eyes as I realized how truly innocent she was. The guilt I carried was too much to be kept inside and, before long, everyone was commenting on my tired appearance.

When I met with the Tsar, everything I knew would happen happened. "Nicholas Alexandrov, let me warn you. If you decide to go forth with this foolish idea of divorcing your wife to marry that commoner, I will have no choice but to strip you of your title, estates, fortune and have you exiled out of Russia." I accepted the warning but I had already made up my mind.

When I went home to speak with Marie, she reacted worse than I could have ever dreamed. She screamed, cried, threw things at me, ruined my mother's favorite painting in all the ways any woman would react to the news of her husband's intentions to leave her for another woman. I promised she would continue to live in the same luxury I had provided for her in our six years of marriage, but she refused to even consider the idea of divorce. She said she was willing to turn blind eyes to this affair, but she refused to disgrace her family with a scandal. Unable to come to terms with Marie, I started speaking with my lawyer and asked to start the divorce procedure, and in turn I started ensuring funds for myself and Antoinette, knowing full well if I married her, I would lose my entire fortune. It was during these crucial months that I began to write to her.

_Antoinette,_

_My love, my life, my soul . . . You cannot imagine how your coldness towards me pains me. I have never felt the way I do now, nor do I expect to ever love anyone the way I love you. My sweet Antoinette, please think that if I only wanted one thing from you I would have gotten it and left, but I didn't. To me the greatest pleasure was being next to you, hearing your sweet words of love, and feeling your presence was enough to fill me with the greatest joys a man could have. You are the most important person in the world to me. I have prayed for forgiveness, it was selfishness, which caused me to hurt you so. The fear of losing you tormented me. I tried to tell you, but when you would look at me with those stunning innocent eyes of yours, I couldn't. I had neither the heart, nor courage to do so. I ask on my hands and knees that you forgive me. I'm requesting a divorce and although it may take some time to have the details and separation finalized, I swear to you on my life I will make you my wife and correct any wrong I have done you. Believe in me, love, that is all I'm asking of you._

_Yours Always,_

_Nicky_

I wrote several letters, trying to make some sort of a connection with her, but my letters never received a response. Finally unable to handle the separation any longer, I went to Paris in search of her. I was determined to make her hear everything, whether she wanted to or not. When I arrived, I found some hostility among the people who worked at the Opera house. No one would allow me to go backstage. Finally I used my power to summon the manager who would not refuse my request and allowed me entrance to the backstage area. When I arrived, I found her room empty.

"Monsieur, where is Antoinette?" I asked while looking over the room I had not seen for nearly three months.

"Monsieur Alexandrov, Madam Giry is on her honeymoon." He said quietly, his head lowered fearing my reaction. For a moment, I thought I had heard him wrong.

"Madam Giry? Did you say Madam Giry?" I blinked several times feeling a rush of hurt and anger touch my heart.

"Yes, Monsieur Alexandrov, she married a month ago." I couldn't believe it. She had married another man; my Antoinette had married another man. She belonged to another man. I would never forget the horrible rage that filled my entire being that day, and for the next several months as well.

I left Paris that very day with all hopes of happiness ruined. I made my way back to Russia, feeling completely betrayed, but I knew she had done nothing wrong. She had been in her right to marry, she had been free, I had not. I stopped the divorce papers and for the next several months drank and drank until I passed out. I couldn't bear the thought of Antoinette in another man's arms, and drinking seemed to be my only solution at least for a short while. It was during this time that Marie managed to get pregnant. My mother was overjoyed and prayed all would go well. I, as harsh as it may sound I did not care at the time. I was too consumed with my heartache, but still I managed to send Antoinette a letter.

_Madam Giry,_

_I congratulate you on your recent marriage. I pray with all my heart you find the happiness I was unable to give you. You shall always have a special place in my heart; all I ask is to be allowed to carry the title of friend in your life. Should you ever need anything, please do not think twice before calling on me. I'm forever in your debt, for the few precious moments of happiness you gave me that I will always treasure and remember._

_Sincerely,_

_Nicholas Alexandrov_

On February 8, 1862 Marie gave birth to a healthy baby girl who weighed 9 pounds 3 ounces. I will never forget the moment I first laid eyes on my little princess, she was simply beautiful. My mother was overjoyed and threw a massive party to celebrate her birth. I named her Tatiana after my mother, and made a vow I would always put her before my myself and others. If God had taken away one love in exchange for another, then I accepted his will. I was stunned when I received a letter from Madam Giry, announcing the birth of her own daughter seven months after my own daughter's birth. I was both sad and happy, if it was at all possible. I sent her my best wishes, and from then on, we maintained a friendly correspondence for years until we both became widowers and were finally able to see each other again.

Everything and yet nothing had changed between us. We cared for one another, but she kept her distance and I she would never again lower her guard. I respected her silent wish and we remained friends.

When I discovered she had helped my daughter escape, something inside of me decided right there and then that this time things would be different and I would have her as my wife. Thus began my hot pursuit of the woman who had stolen my heart nearly 20 years before.

* * *

_**A/N: Please don't forget to review!**_


	14. Important Message

_Many times I have read fanfiction which really enticed me, only to discover later on many of the writers decided to leave their work undone for whatever reason. I have always resented writers who did this because I feel, as a reader we are entitled to explanations and even apologies when needed. This is why I'm writing this, because I owe it to everyone who has stuck with me from the beginning.  
_

_This past week I have been working on revisions on 'Moving On' and Chapter 66 of 'Masked Splendor'. It was during this work that my laptop suddenly turned off. I thought it was the charger, it was not. Replaced the battery, nope. Took it to a shop where I was told it would be cheaper to buy a new laptop than to fix it. My computer is officially dead. It won't turn on, and although I knew I needed a replacement, I kept hoping it would hold on a little longer. My limited income currently does allow me to go and purchase a computer as much as I want to. This is why I have to officially mark this story as 'On hiatus' although to be frank I have no idea when and if I'll be able to get a computer. I may not be able to complete this story, which makes me feel far worse than any of you can imagine. _

_This is not an excuse to stop writing. It's simply a poor wanna be writer suffering through something called economic hardships, which prevent her from purchasing a laptop. If I had a way to come up with $500 to buy a laptop, believe me I would. __I do promise, if I find a way to get regular access to a laptop, I will update and complete my work. It's the least I can do. _

_Hopefully you will hear from me again, if not, thank you all for the support and encouragement. Wish everyone nothing but the best.  
_

_Teresa _


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